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Barney, very solid; Andy, usually solid; Flossie the waitress, just a little ditzy; Debbie, maybe a lot ditzy; Mike, pretty normal; & Larry, pretty stuck on himself.

Staging: Two diner tables with napkin holders, a flower, etc.

Props: Silverware, dishes and food. A pink-slip. A waitress uniform and order pad.

[Notes: This is a fun piece for actors. Most characters can really be hammed-up.]


(Andy, facing the audience, sits at a table reading the menu.)

Flossie: Hi ya Andy! What's it gonna be today? The usual?

Andy:  Nah. I think I'll splurge today, Flossie. Bring me that big New York strip I always threaten to have. With all the trimmings.

Flossie: Oh my! What's the big occasion? Get a big promotion?

Andy: (With feigned pride.) Actually, Floss, so far this week, I lost my job, somebody stole my car (the insurance for which expired last Saturday), the dentist says I need a root canal, and my furnace stopped working this morning. And, since I've only got twenty bucks in my pocket, well, I just decided I can't afford to fix my problems, so I'll just have that New York Strip instead.

Flossie: Oh, Andy! You're always such a kidder. But you know what? I got some REAL money problems. Today's my kid's birthday, ya know, and he thinks he's gettin' some of that, oh, you know, that Mangy Teenage Turtle soup stuff. Unless I can get an extra few bucks around here today, I'd may as well not go home (Turning to go.)  You want that steak rare?

Andy: Make it Well Done, that way I'll get my money's worth.

Flossie: (Laughing as leaving...)  Oh, Andy!!

Mike: (Enters past Flossie.) Andy! Thought I might find you here.

(Mike sits down with Andy.)

Andy: (Subdued.) Hello, Mike. Guess you found me.

Mike:  Hey. I hear there might be some heavy-duty reorganizations at your office. Know anything about it?  (Andy Pulls out a folded "pink slip" and puts it on the table.) Is that what I think it is? I mean did you get ...?

Andy: I haven't had the nerve to read it yet, but, well, what else could it be.

Mike: Holy cow, Andy. I never dreamed you would get chopped. That's tough. Man, that happened to my brother -in-law once. He was out of work for over a year! Just about went nuts. Just about drove us all nuts! But, gee ... (Gets up to go, notices Andy reacting with growing depression.)  ... I bet you'll land on your feet in no time. Give me a call if I can do anything for you. I'll make sure you get on the prayer list in Sunday school, OK? (Sees some else he knows.)  Yo, David. Thought I might catch you here.....

(Leaves. Andy sits dumbfounded.)

Larry: (Enters same as Mike.) Andrew! How ya doin guy? How's that nice automobile of yours holdin' up? I always did like that car.

(Andy keeps trying to respond, without success.) Did you hear about that big new deal that came through for me today. Yes Sir! You're looking at the new furnace supply contractor for all the homes being built in that new subdivision. The boss is talkin' partnership.  You know, the Lord sure takes care of us, don't he. If that developer hadn't joined our church last month this never would've happened. Yep, I'm one lucky guy. When ya got it, I guess ya just got it. Right?(Sees Mike.)  Lookie there. It's old Mike. (Gets up to leave.) I wonder what he's been up to lately. Nice talkin to you, Andy.

Andy: (A little more dumbfounded. Getting dejected.) Ah, yeah. Same here.

Debbie: (Enters same as the others.) Andy. Hello, anybody in there?

Andy: Oh, hi Debbie. Just daydreamin, I guess.

Debbie:  Havin kind of a blue sorta day, are ya? (Andy shrugs.) Tell me about it.

Andy: No big deal, really. So far this week I've been fired, lost my car, woke up cold and hit my dentist. Pretty routine stuff.

Debbie: (In na-na land.) I know what you mean. Nothing really bad but nothing really good either. Just kind of a blue sorta day. Don't you hate when that happens. (Gets up to leave.)  Well, just remember, God loves you, and, have a nice day!

(Debbie goes over to Mike and Larry, talking as she goes.)

Debbie: Hey, Larry, did you know Andy fired his dentist then caught a cold looking for his car?

Larry: Really. He didn't say anything to me.

(Andy Upset, frustrated. Stomps out of the diner; sits down on the diner steps.
 That's it! I've had it! What's the point?!)

(Enter Barney.)

Barney:  Hey, Andy.

Andy: Hey, Barney.

(Barney walks on by, then senses something isn't right.)

Barney: You OK, Andy?

Andy: (Snaps, then softer.) NO! I mean, yeah. I mean, I will be.

Barney: (Sits down next to Andy.) You look like you've been beaten and left by the road to die.

Andy: And who are you? My good Samaritan?

Barney: Only if you need me to be, Andy. What's the problem?
Andy: You mean besides the guilt of just having ordered a big steak dinner when I can't even pay my bills?

Barney: Oh. This sounds serious. Wanna talk about it?

(Andy Starts, then decides against it.)

Barney” Andy, you are not alone.

Andy:  So I've heard. God loves me, right?

Barney:   Of course he does. But I was talking about me. You've got my number... Why don't you go back in there, eat your lunch, and if you still feel down, give me a call. I'll meet you anywhere.

(Andy looks at him, then drops his head.)

Barney: By the way. Did I tell you how much I appreciated your devotion in church last week. The Lord really used you to touch me in a special way. Thank you for letting him.

(Barney pats him on the back then leaves.)

(Andy straightens up a little, then gets up and returns to the table just as his food arrives. Barney pats him on the back then leaves.)

(Andy straightens up a little, then gets up and returns to the table just as his food arrives.)

[NOTE: If the sketch is to be followed by a sermon with a direct tie-in, the sketch should end here.]

Optional ending #1...

Flossie: Here you go Andy. Just like you ordered.

(She turns, he bows to pray, she turns back and interrupts his prayer.)

Flossie: By the way... Opps, sorry. But I meant to tell you, some gentleman just left me his credit card and said to charge your meal to his account. So I guess that means you'll be having desert today, huh!

Andy: (Humbled but happy.) Well, ah, maybe. I guess so.

(Flossie starts to leave when Andy calls out...)

Andy: FLOSSIE! Here ... (Hands her his $20.) Go buy your kid a turtle!

Flossie:  Honest?! That's great Andy. Boy! You generous types are just too good to be true!

[Optional Ending #2]

Andy: (Picks-up with Barney's comment about not being alone...) So I've heard. God loves me, right?

Barney: Of course he does. But I was talking about...

Andy: Well maybe I'm tired of hearing people talk today.

Flossie: (Calls out to Andy as she brings in the food.) Here you go Andy. Just like you ordered.

(Andy considers it, then gets up to leave, leaving his note on the table.)

Andy: Maybe I'm not hungry anymore. Maybe Mr.Sunshine here would like a nice New York strip.

(Andy stomps off.)

Barney: ANDY! What's come over him? Oh well, no sense letting a good piece of meat go to waste.

(Sees Andy's pink slip, picks it up and reads it.) Well, what do you know. Andy got one of these too. I wondered who the other new department head was gonna be.


(c) Copyright John Wayne Samples, all rights reserved.
The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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