Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
Summary: 3 friends at a football match chat about their friend who has become a Christian. Keywords: Football, conversion,
Style: Light-hearted.  Duration: 9min
Actors: 3M



[Mike & Dave are seated at a football match when Sid arrives. Singing “Come on you Reds”. SFX of football match in background throughout. Sid arrives & joins in as he clambers over the other two & sits down]
Sid: Any score yet?
Mike: They’re still warming up, doughball.
Dave: Only one team on the pitch – bit of a giveaway
Sid: Oh yeah. I was only joking
Mike & Dave: Aye, right.
[Dave gives Sid a nuggy]
Sid: Gerroff. [To Mike] How was your week, then?
Mike: Same old, same old.
Dave: I thought you enjoyed your job.
Mike: It was great at first, but now we’ve got this new boss with all new ideas of how he wants things done. He’s a right pain in the proverbial.
Sid: Not to worry. There are more important things in life.
Mike: Like football!
Dave: We’re red…
Mike & Dave: We’re white…
M, D & S: … We’re bloomin’ dynamite.
[All stand, clap & chant. Dies down & sit]
Sid: So where’s Russell today? It’s not like him to miss a game.
[Mike & Dave look at each other, then at Sid]
Dave: {Solemn] You haven’t heard, then?
Sid: Heard? Heard what? What’s wrong? What’s happened to him?
Mike: I think you’d better sit down.
[Sid is already sitting down – makes it blatantly obvious. Ham it up]
Sid: He’s not been in an accident, has he? Is he alright?
Dave: No. He’s not been in an accident.
Sid: Thank goodness for that.
Dave: No. It’s worse than that.
Sid: Worse? Like what? Oh – he’s not split up with Shona has he?
 That’s terrible. I really liked her as well
Mike: No, Sid. He’s not split up with Shona.
Sid: So what’s the matter then? He’s not …. He’s not … you know?
Mike & Dave: Dead?
Sid: Yeah. Dead – he’s not is he?
Mike: No Sid. He’s not dead.
Sid: Thank goodness for that.
Dave: Not in the literal, physical meaning of the word anyway.
Mike: Yeah. In some ways it would be better if he were. At least we’d be able to mourn his loss properly.
Sid: What the Dickens are you two on about? Russell’s not been in an accident, right?
Mike: Right.
Sid: And he’s not split up with Shona, right?
Dave: Right.
Sid: And he’s still alive, right?
Mike & Dave: Right
[at this moment the game kicks off. Mike & Dave jump to their feet, shouting. Sid stares at them, dumfounded – slowly clamour dies down & they sit]
Dave: Sorry, mate. What were you saying?
Sid: [gobsmacked for a second] Russell – you were telling me what’s happened to him.
Dave: Oh, yeah. That’s right. Well, …
[Mike jumps up, followed a split second later by Dave]
Mike: Foul! Ref – definite foul.
Dave: Deliberate. Book him, ref.
Mike: Yeah - [starting chant] Book him, book him, send him off.
[Dave joins in. Both calm down & sit]
Dave: So like I was saying, Russell’s only gone and [their team is obviously on the attack. Dave is getting more excited. Dave & Mike both getting more animated] and …. and ….[the shot misses] oooooooh!
[Mike & Dave both sit again]
Sid: I can’t believe you guys. Our good pal is obviously in some sort of serious trouble and all you can think about is a game of football.
Mike: Oh, come on. That’s not fair. It’s not just any game of football. This is a vital mid-season middle-of-the-table clash.
Dave: Yeah – a vital match this is. You know what the legendary Bill Shankly said: “Football’s not a matter of life and death” [Mike joins in] It’s more important than that!
Sid: So, do I get to know what Russell’s problem is?
Mike: He’s only gone and become …
Dave: [jumps up yelling] Offside!
[Sid grabs Dave & pulls him down]
Sid: He’s only gone and become what?
Dave & Mike: [look at each other. Look at Sid. Simultaneous.] A Christian.
Sid: A what?!?
Dave: You heard – a Christian.
Mike: And not just one of those ‘go-to-church-for-an-hour-on-Sunday’ Christians either.
Dave: Yep. Totally flipped. He’s a happy, clappy chappy! Told me he’s “been saved” and that I need to ask Jesus to forgive my sins or else I’d go to …
Mike: [stands and starts singing] Hello! Hello! We are the boys in red [Dave stands & joins in]….
Mike & Dave: Hello, hello, our team are all half dead.
(Mike & Dave sit. Straight back into conversation)
Dave: So that’s it. We’ve lost Russell.
Mike: No more nights out with the lads. No more “fancy a jar down at the pub”.
Dave: No more Sunday football matches. No more chatting up the birds.
Mike: [dejected] Poor Russ.
Sid: [shaking his head & laughing. Incredulous] You two are unbelievable.
Dave: What?
Sid: You’re talking about him as if he was dead.
Mike: He might as well be.
Sid: Blethers. When I spoke to him yesterday, he was the happiest I’ve seen him. Like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was talking about his faith – what he was saying makes a lot of sense to me. What did you think?
Dave: To be honest, I didn’t really give him a chance to talk about it. As soon as he told me he was a Christian, I was offski-Tchaikovsky.
Mike: Me neither. I didn’t really want to hear it. Makes me feel uncomfortable.
Sid: Come on. Russell’s our mate. [Pulls a flyer out of his pocket] He’s invited us to this meeting his church are having. I’m going. Do you want to come? [hands flyer to Mike & Dave]
Dave: No way. Not my scene.
Mike: All that singing and dancing and clapping and cheering. Wouldn’t catch me doing that in a million years. They look like complete idiots.
[Their team are on the attack. All 3 start to get excited. Then they score. They all go bananas. Settle back down]
Sid: So what were you saying?
Mike: Yeah – I’m not the jumping, clapping, cheering type [Realises the inherent irony even as he’s saying it] OK. I’ll go to the meeting.
Dave: Yeah, alright. I’ll go as well.
Sid: Sorry. What was that?
Dave: I said I’ll go.
Sid: Good lad. I’ll have a pie and Bovril.
Dave: But I didn’t mean …
Mike: Top bloke, Dave. I’ll have a pie as well
[Dave reluctantly gets up to go and get the pies]
Dave: You do realise that if we become Christians we’re going to have to start supporting a different football team.
Sid: What are you talking about?
Dave Yeah – so we can sing “Oh when the saints ….
Mike & Sid join in: …go marching in, oh when the saints go marching in ….
© Barry Brannen 2008, all rights reserved.
This script may be used free of charge. Please intimate intention to use it by contacting This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Feedback would be useful.

Please support Dramatix


"As a writer of 'easy to produce' stage scripts for ministry use I was honored to link with Dramatix several years ago. I hear from dozens of ministries around the world every year who utilize scripts made available through this site. I not only recommend this site for your drama needs, but encourage your prayers and financial support."
Glenn Hascall, Station Manager

Dramatix (est. 1998) is the world’s largest provider of free drama scripts. It will stay free, thanks to the kindness of authors who mostly provide scripts without requiring payment. But growing popularity has brought increased running costs. To help keep Dramatix online, we would really appreciate a donation. Thank you.
general donation

Copyright © 2016. All Rights Reserved.