Characters
Captain Clown
The Service Leader: Song leader or some such.
Ringmaster Honest John: Stereotyped circus carney.
Wolfie the puppet: Honest John's voice and alter ego.
Staging: A park bench stage right dressed-out to allow a puppeteer to work from behind the bench. An office, desk & chair, stage left.
Props: Balloons, puppet, an oversized contract, a pen, offering plates, clocks, life jackets.
Script
(Service leader begins with some preliminary thoughts on the evenings topic: stewardship. The clown enters down center aisle with arm load of offering plates. Plops them at the feet of the minister or leader who exchanges awkward looks with the clown.)
LEADER
Excuse me. Are you lost?
CLOWN
No sir. I was walking by the door back there when I heard you talking about stewardship and I noticed you didn't have any offering plates to put your stewardship in so I thought I'd help you out.
LEADER
That's very nice of you, uh....
CLOWN
CLOWN's the name.
(Shaking LEADER's hand and eventually pulling him off the platform.)
Captain Clown, at-your-service.
LEADER
Listen Clown. I appreciate your wanting to help, but, well... We aren't talking about THAT kind of stewardship. That's right, we're not taking an offering tonight. So why don't you just leave these offering plates right here and I'll show you a short-cut out of here.
CLOWN
(Puzzled as they begin making their way across stage. )
Not that kind of stewardship? What other kinds of stewardship are there? What are we suppose to give besides our money?
LEADER
We're talking about stewardship of our time.
CLOWN
Our TIME!? Goodness gracious. You guys want everything don't you. First my money, now my time, what's next ...
(Exit stage left. The Leader takes over and leads the congregation in singing a very upbeat song or two. Clown returns down the center aisle carrying all the clocks he can hold, and plops them down next to the offering plates.)
LEADER
Captain Clown... What are you doing now?
CLOWN
Well, boss, I got to thinking about this stewardship of time thing and I realizes that you could use some visual enhancement on the topic ...
LEADER
So you brought us a bunch of clocks ...
(One of the alarm clocks which Clown is playing with goes off, scares Clown who drops the clock...)
Mr. Clown, we appreciate your wanting to help, but we really do have this under control. Besides it's not really stewardship of TIME, it's more like stewardship of, uh, of LIFE. Stewardship of LIFE! So the clocks really don't help, but thank you anyway.
CLOWN
(As he is leaving ... )
Life, huh? Stewardship of Life. What will they want next ... (He's struck by an idea ...) LIFE. Yeah, that's good ...
(Smiles and runs out ... Leader regains composure and continues with another upbeat tune.
Clown re-enters with an armful of Life Preservers as the song nears the end.)
LEADER
Captain, why do I get the feeling you'd like to work with us tonight?
CLOWN
Well, governor, you said you were talking about stewardship of LIFE, so it seems to me that you'd want to save as many as you could in the process. This is all I could find. They were back by the baptistry.
LEADER
Now wait a minute. This isn't about offering plates, or clocks, or even life preservers, is it Clown?
CLOWN
Well....
LEADER
OK. Let's get this over with, why don't you just tell us what's on your mind.
CLOWN
Well ... OK, boss. Thought you'd never ask. Do you mind if I tell a story about this stewardship stuff?
(Doesn't wait for an answer which looks like it might be no ...)
Great. Thanks, boss. This won't take too long.
(Clown begins to "work" the audience up and down the stage as he weaves his story of stewardship.)
CLOWN
Once upon a time, there was this very wise and generous Ringmaster of a small, but really nice little circus. This Ringmaster had 3 clowns in his circus who worked hard and wanted to be the best they could be. One day, the wise and generous Ringmaster decided to reward these three clowns with gifts. He decided to give them gifts that they would not only like, but that they could use in the circus.
To Bozo, the wise and generous Ringmaster gave the finest set of juggling balls any clown could ever hope for, because he knew that Bozo had always wanted to do juggling in the circus.
To Clarabell, the Ringmaster gave a magic hat, because he knew that Clarabell had the natural ability to cast a spell on a circus audience.
And to the third clown, this wise and generous Ringmaster gave one long balloon. And for the life of him, the third clown couldn't figure out why in the world he had been given a balloon. But, he took it, and said thank you, just like Bozo and Clarabell had done before him.
Bozo was so proud of his new juggling balls that he put them in a little glass box so he could see them all the time when he was in his room. He would stare at them and imagine how good he would look throwing those balls around in circles before a hundred laughing children. But he never took the balls out of that glass box, and he never tried to juggle, because he was afraid he might drop them and scratch their beautiful shinny surfaces.
Clarabell was also proud of her new magic hat. The first time she put her hand in it, she pulled out a rabbit. The next time she found a magic wand, and then a deck of magic cards. She not only found new things in her new magic hat, she used the magic wand to make the rabbit disappear, and she learned to do all kinds of magic tricks with the deck of cards. She was amazed that this one gift had turned into so many other gifts.
(Takes a long balloon out and begins using it as he talks.)
Then there was the third clown, and his single long balloon. He blew it up, then let it out, then blew it up, then let it out, but he still couldn't figure out what the wise and generous Ringmaster must have been thinking. Then he blew it up, and this time he tied it off, and started playing around with the balloon until he suddenly realized this silly little balloon looked just like a giraffe!
Well, the clown was certainly amazed. But then he looked down and there was a little boy with a grin from ear to ear as he looked at this balloon-giraffe. The clown gave the balloon to the little boy who screamed with delight. The little boy's father was so pleased at hearing the boy laugh that he bought 2 more balloons and gave them to the clown.
This time, the clown played with the balloons until one looked like a teddy-bear and the other looked like a dog. He gave those balloons to two more kids, and before you know it he had every father and mother on the midway giving him balloons and asking for more animals.
A few days later the wise and generous Ringmaster called the clowns in to his office and asked them how they liked their gifts.
Bozo proudly displayed the glass case he made for his juggling balls. When the Ringmaster asked to see some juggling, Bozo proudly pointed to how shiny the balls still were and explained that he never tried to juggle. Well, the wise and generous Ringmaster was very disturbed, and told Bozo to take his balls and go home. He couldn't work in this circus anymore.
Then he turned to Clarabell and asked to see some magic. Clarabell quickly pulled out a rabbit and a pigeon, then told the Ringmaster to "Pick-a-card, any-card!" The wise and generous Ringmaster was so impressed he told Clarabell that she was the new Center Ring clown because she had worked so hard with her gifts.
Then he turned to the third clown and asked where his balloon was. The clown, suddenly realizing what he had done, explained that he had given his balloon to someone else. "WHAT!?" exclaimed the Ringmaster. "Is that all you thought of my gift."
The clown asked the Ringmaster to walk over to the BigTop with him. When they walked in, the clown pointed to dozens of balloon giraffes, and cats, and smiles on children's faces. The wise and generous Ringmaster put his hand on the clown's shoulder and said, "Well done. You have been a good and faithful clown."
And everybody lived happily ever after. Right?
Do real stories ever really end like that? I mean, on this side of heaven, of course...
Well, the reputation of the wonderful balloons grew far and wide. More people came to the circus, more smiles were put on the faces of children, large and small, and a message soon came from a bigger circus in another town that they wanted to talk to the maker of the balloons.
Clown has made his way back to the stage left office as he finishes his story. Honest John is sitting behind the desk working on something, when Clown knocks on the door.
JOHN
Yeah? Whaddaya want?
CLOWN
Excuse me, sir. I'm looking for the Ringmaster of this wonderful circus.
JOHN
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Honest John the Ringmaster. What can I do...
(John looks up)
Oh. Oh! Well look what we have here. You must be that Captain Clown fellow we've been hearing so much about.
(Clown acknowledges with a smile and a nod. John comes around to "butter-up".)
Have a seat, Mr. Clown. Now, what can I do for you?
How about some cotton candy or a nice elephant ear?
CLOWN
No thank you, boss. I think the question is, What can I do for you?! You are the one what sent for me.
JOHN
Of course I am. Can't slip anything by you, can I. I like that. You're sharp. Direct. Right to the point. Just like me. I really like that.
CLOWN
Uh, speaking of getting to the point, sir, why am I here?
JOHN
There you go again. I KNEW you were the right clown for this job. Trustworthy, dependable, I really like that. Here, just sign this contract under my name right there and you can start tomorrow.
CLOWN
Contract? Job? Tomorrow? What are you talking about?
JOHN
And not afraid to ask the hard question. I really like this clown!
Not to worry, Captain. This is your lucky day. I'm offering you a chance in the big time. You're going to be the new Head Clown here at Honest John's Honest Circus.
CLOWN
I'm very flattered, Honest John, but I kinda like it where I am. I'll have to think about this.
JOHN
Think?! What's to think about? I'm offering you more money in a bigger and better Circus with more opportunity for advancement.
CLOWN
Well, I really like my current Ringmaster a lot...
JOHN
That pious and onerous Ringmaster? Get a life! How many balloon blowers does he provide for you?
CLOWN
Balloon blowers? Uh, none. I blow all my own ...
JOHN
NO! You're kidding. Not in this day and age. We've already hired 4 of the finest balloon blowers in the country. And I'll bet we hire 4 more by the end of the month if you're as good as I think you'll be. You'll never have another blow-up headache. And what's more, after you've taught your tricks to the other clowns, you won't even have to touch the balloons anymore. Just sit back and be an Executive Clown.
CLOWN
Well, it really was his gift that made it all possible...
JOHN
Let me ask you another question. How many hundreds of kids get to see your show every night.
CLOWN
Well... did you say HUNDREDS?
JOHN
Hundreds!
CLOWN
Well, maybe, 1. On a good night.
JOHN
Captain, your talents are going to waste! With me you'll be putting smiles on thousands of children's faces every night. And when we franchise your balloons they'll make millions of kids smile and all you have to do is sit back and grin, ...and do a little paper work.
CLOWN
Millions?! That certainly is a lot of smiles. Uh, did you say paperwork?
JOHN
Did I? I don't remember. It doesn't matter. It's all right there in the contract. Money, fame and fortune and the respect of all the clowns working under you.
CLOWN
I'd really like to think about this.
JOHN
Absolutely! Take all the time you need. I don't leave for that cruise around the world for another 2 hours. Just let me know by then so I can leave knowing my circus is in good hands.
(John ushers Clown through the door, closes it, then Clown and John both look at the audience while pointing to the other and say ...)
JOHN & CLOWN
WHAT A CLOWN!
(Band sings a song about choices while Clown sits on the bench and makes a balloon-animal. As the song ends, Clown picks-up a photo-album and begins reminiscing as he turns the pages. A few seconds after the song ends, Wolfie the puppet appears from behind the bench.)
WOLFIE
(Looking at the photo-album.)
My goodness, pal. I've never seen so many clowns and animals. Where did you get all those pictures?
CLOWN
(Not realizing he's talking to a puppet.)
Back at my old circus. These are my family and friends.
WOLFIE
So why the long face? Looks like a lot of friends to me.
CLOWN
Well, you see, I've been offered this new job and I might never...
(Sees the puppet.)
Hey, you're just a silly puppet. Why am I telling you all this?
WOLFIE
Nice to meet you, too.
Listen fella, the world's full of silly puppets. In fact, we all dance to somebody else's music, if you know what I mean. So, who's pulling your strings?
CLOWN
Nobody pulls my strings. I'm my own clown.
WOLFIE
Say... You ARE funny, I'll give you that. But if you think...
(Sees the balloon-animal.)
Hey, aren't you the great Captain Clown. I'd recognize that balloon anywhere.
CLOWN
I don't know about the GREAT part, but I am Captain Clown.
WOLFIE
I guess you're right, you'll never be really great as long as you're spending all your time at that little bitty circus.
Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you go to work for Honest John's Honest Circus. You could reach thousands, maybe millions of kids with your balloons. Wow, what a good idea.
What's wrong?
CLOWN
That's exactly what I'm struggling with. Honest John offered to make me his head clown a few minutes ago...
WOLFIE
Well congratulations, Captain.
CLOWN
I'm still thinking about it.
WOLFIE
You are what?!?!?!
CLOWN
I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do. I mean, the wise and generous Ringmaster at my old circus is the one that gave me my first balloon to use in his circus. He's been like a father to me. It just doesn't seem right.
WOLFIE
Trust me on this one. This is what the old Ringmaster would want you to do. He doesn't care where you use your gift, just so long as you use it. Just mention his name every now and then and he'll love ya for it.
CLOWN
I wish I knew WHAT the Ringmaster wanted me to do. Besides, when I read the contract from Honest John, it has lots of other stuff in it that I don't know if I'll like. It even sounds like I might not even be making balloons at all.
WOLFIE
Look Captain. You've got to grow. You've got to take chances. You have an opportunity to make millions, here. You can't hold yourself back because of some old-fashioned loyalty to somebody and someplace that doesn't know what the big-time is like.
CLOWN
If there was just someway to reach the millions and still work with my friends...
WOLFIE
Give it up, Capt. Even I know you can't serve two Ringmasters. Keep your foot down in that little circus playing with your little balloons and you'll never know what you could've been.
CLOWN
Well ... maybe you're right.
WOLFIE
Maybe? MAYBE!? Don't insult me pal. I'll tell ya something else you've got to do. You've got to figure out what you want out of life. You need to take a good hard look at yourself. Now, I can't be your conscience on this forever, man. Get out there and just DO IT!
CLOWN
Thanks, friend.
(Group sings an introspective type song asking for God's leading, or some such. Clown reviews the contract during the song. At the end of the song, piano transitions into "Step By Step" which Clown sings solo, or with backup during chorus. Following song...)
CLOWN
So, ladies and gentlemen, what do you think I should do? Should I take the job with the big circus and fame and fortune? Or, should I stay with the nice little circus which was responsible for introducing me to my calling?
And here's another question:
Do you think it really matters? I mean, the wise and generous Ringmaster is a big boy. He knows what happens to the good clowns. He's the one that MADE me a good clown. Does he really care whether I'm blowing balloons for his little circus or teaching others to do the work so more people can benefit?
I really don't know which answer is best.
What would you do?
What have you done?
That's right, I know some of you are already working for the big circus, and some are wanting out of the little circus. Is it more important which circus you work for, or is it more important to know that there is a reason you are where you are?
Which Ringmaster are you serving?
(All lights should be off as Clown bows his head, apparently to pray. He then sings the first verse of "Just As I Am" without music. Someone else should close with prayer while the lights are down.)
The End
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©1996 JSam Communications,