Chicken Sketch

By Simon and Sue Kingham


Two chickens discuss whether to stay cooped up or to aspire to life as a free-range chicken. Aim: to encourage people to step out of their comfort zone. (A little reminiscent of the famous Morecambe & Wise chicken sketch.)



1: Morning.

2: Morning, how ya doin' today?

1: Fine, and you.

2: Fine.

1: How's life with you?

2: Fine, and you?

1: Fine, anything happening?

2: Well, not a lot, I've just been streching my left leg. Do you know I had forgotten what it felt like. I think I'll strech my right tomorrow.

1: Oh, you want to be careful. I stopped that ages ago. I haven't felt my legs for years.

2: Well, I've been stretching 'cos I'm thinking of becoming one of those other types of chickens.

1: What's that, then?

2: You know, those ones that walk about.

1: Oh you mean Free Range Freda and her lot.

2: Yea, sounds like a good life. You get to walk about, sleep where you want, look for corn, chat with other chickens. I think I'd be good at that.

1: No mate, you don't don't know when you're well off. What do you want to go looking for corn for? We don't even have to move to get corn here.

2: Yea, but look at Freda, she's so perfect and everything.

1: Perfect? have you seen her legs? She looks like she's on steroids.

2: We're the ones on steroids.

1: Well it ain't done me any harm.

2: How do you know? you've never done anything. All you do is sit around all day.

1: What's eating you?

2: I can't believe you said that.

EFX: Rooster crow

1: Oh, I love it when he says that.

2: I've heard you even get that out there.

1: It's a rumour

(Egg is laid by chicken 1.)

2: Don't you ever get broody, want a little chick, a family?

1: No way, they're just mess and noise. You never get a moment's peace.

2: But it must be great out there - all that excitement.

1: It's not all it's cracked up to be, you know.

2: What do you mean?

1: Yyou never know where your next meal is going to come from, or whether you'll get a bed for the night.

2: Only a small problem

1: And it's dangerous out there.

2: Like what

1: Foxes.

2: It all adds to the excitement.

1: You don't want that. You want to stay in where it's nice and safe and secure.

2: I just think there's got to be more than this.


© Copyright Simon & Sue Kingham. All rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of royalty, provided no charge is made for the performance. In return, the authors would appreciate being notified of any use. They may be contacted at