Telethon Time

By Faye Ruddenklau


A Telethon host is perplexed when guests front up with something other than money. A parable on the use of talents.


Four contributors


(Song is sung followed by a short pause.)

Interviewer: good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Once again its telethon time, and tonight we already have a magnificent line-up of people waiting at the door to rush up here with their pledges and contributions!
Now just one at a time folks. Guests come in front of the camera in an orderly fashion, and speak slowly so we all can hear you! Well Sir, what's your name, and what do you have in your hand tonight?

Number one: I'm called Samson, and I have here the jawbone of an ass.

Interviewer: Well now, and what's the good of that ugly looking thing?

No. 1: I reckon it's pretty valuable, because through the power of the Lord I killed three hundred Philistines with it!

Interviewer: Ah, sorry about this folks - obviously a nutter! Move along there Sir. Will the next person step up please? Well, hello, young man, and what do you have for us tonight?

No. 2: Hello Sir. My names David, and I've brought you a stone and a piece of leather to make a sling from.

Interviewer: But what will that do towards the national score?

No. 2: well it doesn't look anything much, but when I used it somehow a whole army got beaten!

Interviewer: I don't mean to be rude but isn't there anyone here with something valuable to contribute tonight? Ah yes, I see someone now pressing forward with something shiny in their hand. A trumpet? Oh yes, I understand, you're going to auction it off? What's your name?

No. 3: Joshua. I don't know if this trumpet could be auctioned. It's pretty old!

Interviewer: Then why did you bring it?

No. 3: Well, you see, if you march around a bit in silence for seven days, and then you blow it real loud, all the walls of the city will fall down!

Interviewer: That's all we need - a one man demolition squad! Perhaps we could send you to the Beehive. Now here's a very attractive young lady! You don't seem to have brought anything at all!

No.4: Yes, I have my most treasured position right here in my hand.

Interviewer: What? That little black speck? What is it? A microdot?

No. 4: No - it's a mustard seed!

Interviewer: Now Ive seen everything! All right, let's have it, what does it do?

No.4: It's a miracle mountain mover.

Interviewer: (quickly) Well folks, I guess we'll just step in here with a short commercial break, while I go and see where all the people with the money are. That's what really matters, isn't it?


© Chris Wyatt and Ian Harvey 1978, All rights reserved
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