Codename: Guardian Angel
By Brian Alleyne

Summary
In a James Bond take-off, agent Kyle Angel is entrusted with a secret mission and a secret package. He has to outwit enemy agents and a double agent to accomplish his goal.
Keywords: secret agent, Bible, translation, Tyndale, mission
Style: Lighthearted
Duration: 50-60min
Actors: 1VO, 6M, 2F, +V

Characters:
Narrator (voice only)
Kyle Angel-  James Bond type agent. Must be tall, dark and handsome, well dressed at all times.
Colonel Maroc- Basically the equivalent of Bond’s commander M. Mature look.
Penny/Agent Judas- Double agent/traitor- should seem innocent at 1st, so as to make her seem like one of the good guys, but after the betrayal have a sinister demeanor.
Sage/Secretary- Double agent for APOSTLE. Should have a cold professional demeanor until she saves Luke at the end.
Heidern- Main villain. Sinister demeanor. Dressed in  high ranking military suit. Has an eyepatch
Cockroach- short, comic relief type villan. Is the brains of him and Gorilla
Gorilla- Big dumb, part of the pair.
Alundra- beautiful , mysterious woman. Could have a Russian or German accent.
Dragonuv- priest. Middle aged look.
Minor characters-
Waiter
Valet
Agent in Serpent Headquarters
Patrons in nightclub
Soldiers in nightclub- only 1 will actually talk

Script

Intro

(Angel is sitting reading a newspaper)
Narration- Don’t bother asking me my name, it doesn’t matter. Today it might be Tony Stark or Steve Rogers and tomorrow, it might be Carlos Montana or Pierre DuFont. It all depends on the circumstance I find myself in. But most of the time I’m called Angel, Luke Angel. Most days I could pass for an average guy on the street, just like you, maybe walking my dog or just cutting my lawn. But there’s one simple difference between you and me. Ever so often I get a call from an old friend which changes everything. (phone rings and he answers)
Voice over phone: 008 you’re needed at headquarters. (Angel hangs up and walks off)
Scene 1-(A.P.O.S.T..L.E headquarters, Colonel Maroc is sitting at his desk looking over papers. Knock on door) 
Colonel Maroc- Enter (Angel walks in) 
Angel - Good morning, Colonel. You called?
Colonel Maroc- Good morning, 008 have a seat (Angel sits down)
Angel- What’s the crisis today, sir?
Colonel Maroc- 008, we have a mission for you. A collect and delivery
Angel- (scoffs) Seems easy enough.
Colonel Maroc- Don’t be so quick to write it off. You haven’t heard where you’re going. Have you ever heard of a country called Latveria?
Angel (thinks) Possibly. The name sounds familiar. 
Colonel Maroc- Well let me refresh your memory (puts up display of map).
Voice: Latveria is a small independent nation located 100 miles off the coast of Russia. Since WW2, it’s been under the rule of a communist regime known as the “Iron Fist,” and like most communist regimes, the Iron Fist fiercely opposes any religious practice inside its borders. No official churches exist and any missionaries operating within the country do so in secrecy for fear of being imprisoned or executed .                                                                           
Angel- I see. Not the sort of place you want to go for a vacation.
Colonel Maroc- Definitely not.(continues)
However, there is a small movement known as the Latverian Underground Church which helps to harbour missionaries while trying to distribute the gospel by any means necessary. Today we received an SOS from the LUC apparently; one of their branches was working on a highly important, top secret operation named Project Tyndale when it was discovered and had to be halted. They have urgently requested that we send help to prevent it from becoming completely terminated. 
Colonel Maroc (to Angel) This is where you come in 008. The extreme peril involved in this mission requires that we send our best agent to the danger zone.
Angel- Thank you, sir, I’m flattered.
Colonel Maroc- You are to travel to Latveria, first thing tomorrow and rendez- vous with your contact from the L.U.C in the capital Baratsenburg (points to map). They will give you a briefcase containing some very important material, you will take it to Aomoria here on the other side of the country.(points to other area). Before I continue, do you have any questions?
Angel- Yes just one. What’s in the briefcase?
Colonel Maroc-(sternly)That is highly classified information 008. You will be updated on it when you make the delivery. But until that happens, under no circumstances are you to open the briefcase. Are we clear?
Angel-Yes sir.
Colonel Maroc- Good. Now our sources indicate that this situation is made even more dangerous because our old friends at SERPENT have a strong presence in the country.
Angel-(laughs) Ah yes the Society for the Eradication of Religious Practices and the Erasing of Nonsensical Teachings. Haven’t heard from them in a while.
Colonel Maroc- In my opinion, it wasn’t long enough, but the point is they’re in Latveria in force. It seems that the Iron Fist allows them to use the island as a base for their operations in the Eastern hemisphere in return for their help in hunting down missionaries and churches and as you know, SERPENT will go to any lengths to eradicate religions, even murder and terrorism, so you must be extra careful not to be discovered
Angel- Aren’t I always. (Colonel Maroc stares at him) Umm, forget I said that
Colonel Maroc- Since it will be such a perilous mission, we won’t send you in alone. You’ll be working with a partner. 
Angel-(annoyed) Ah come on sir, I don’t need anyone else tagging along to slow me down. I work alone.
Colonel Maroc- Not this time. Come in 002 (Penny walks in, Angel looks smitten) Meet your new partner Penny Banfield.
Angel-(takes a good look at her and then walks over. Shakes her hand) Well, like I always say, a little company never hurts.
Colonel Maroc-I thought as much. She will act as your rapport over in Latveria. She will monitor your progress from afar and provide you with any information or help you need, such as interpreting the language. All the while she’ll be reporting your progress back to us.
Penny- I’m pleased to meet you 008. It’s an honour to work with someone who I’ve heard so much about.
Angel- (shakes her hand) The pleasure is all mine.
Colonel Maroc- Ok you two. There will be plenty of time to get acquainted in the field. Your plane leaves at 0800 hours. So you’ve got only a few hours to get ready. And remember, if any of you are captured or killed in the field, we will disallow any knowledge of your existence.
Angel and Penny- Yes sir.
Colonel Maroc- That will be all. (Both start going out) .One more thing, 008 (Angel stops, Penny walks out) our intelligence indicates that Heidern is heading up SERPENT’s activities in Latveria. I think he’ll be holding a grudge for what you did to his eye in your last meeting. So please, be careful.
Angel- I will sir. (Angel leaves)

Scene 2: Serpent Headquarters 

(an agent is on the phone urgently taking down information, he hangs up and runs to his superior’s office, the superior(Heidern is in the office with his secretary)
Agent- (salutes) Hail SERPENT.
Heidern- (looks up) What is it?
Agent- Sir. I’ve just received an urgent message from Agent Judas.
Heidern-(snatches paper) Let me see that. That will be all (Agent walks out. Heidern reads it and looks shocked) I can’t believe it. APOSTLE is sending Luke Angel, over here to meet with the L.U.C. (smiles) I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a looong time.(to Secretary) Secretary, Summon Agents Viper and Hammerhead immediately !!
Secretary- Um, sir, they are unavailable.
Heidern- What!!
Secretary- They’re over in Afghanistan bombing churches.
Heidern- I see, very well. Then send for Agents Cobra and Scorpion.
Secretary- They can’t come either sir. They’re in Cambodia hunting down missionaries.
Heidern- Engaged as well? How about Barracuda and Krait?
Secretary- Nope. In  North Korea.
Heidern- Mako and Sidewinder? (Secretary shakes head) You mean to tell me that all of our top agents are unusable?
Secretary- Yes sir, I’m sorry but it’s a very busy time of year.
Heidern - Then who do we have?
Secretary- (checks list) Umm only 2, Cockroach and Gorilla.
Heidern (shocked) Those two idiots? Never. I can’t risk using them! Ah, how about Puma and Diamondback? 
Secretary- Well they’re definitely not doing anything, but we can’t use them.
Heidern- Why not?
Secretary- They’re dead. (Heidern sighs) But sir. Gorilla and Cockroach can’t be that incompetent, can they?
Heidern- (looks at secretary) For their last mission in Cuba. I assigned them to shadow a Pastor and they lost him.
Secretary- (puzzled) But that happens all the time, sir.
Heidern- HE WAS 88 YEARS OLD, BLIND AND IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!
Secretary- Oh. I see.(thinks) But sir. I’m sure they’ve learnt their lesson. This time should be different.
Heidern- Uh huh.
Secretary- And it’s a rare opportunity for us to get rid of Angel. We can’t afford to lose it.
Heidern- (considers and sighs) Very well, send for them. (Secretary walks off)  
(Cockroach and Gorilla enter, salute, both shout) HAIL SERPENT! Agents Gorilla and Cockroach reporting for duty sir.
Heidern- (annoyed)Yes, yes. I have a very important mission for you two. Now pay attention!
Both- Yes sir!!
Heidern- One of our agents has reported that APOSTLE is sending one of its top agents over here to rendez-vous with the LUC to collect a package. What is APOSTLE?
Gorilla- Sir. The Association for the Protection of Organisations Spreading the Truth and Living Enlightenment.
Heidern- Very good, and what is its purpose?
Cockroach- It is aimed at protecting and helping those persons spreading the capitalist lies of the Christian religion, sir.
Heidern- Excellent. Now this agent is 008 a.k.a Luke Angel. An old friend of mine. (shows a pic) Expert marksman and hand to hand combatant. Highly proficient in stealth, espionage and counter-terrorism. When he arrives, I want you two to trail him until he gets the package. When this occurs, I want you to eliminate him, collect the package and bring it back to headquarters immediately. Understood.
Both- Yes sir!!
Heidern- Now don’t think I have forgotten your mistake in Cuba. I hold you personally responsible for our failure to destroy the church movement there.
Cockroach- But sir. It was his fault. He said that we could take a break from watching him cause he couldn’t possible get too far.
Gorilla (angrily) My fault, it was you who said that should we go watch a movie.(both start arguing)
Heidern- SILENCE!!! I have had enough of you incompetence. This is your last chance. Heed my words well. If you fail me this time, you had better pray that there is a God to save you. Now get out of my sight (Both run out).

Scene 3- Streets of Latveria 

(Narration occurs as Angel and Penny walk on with luggage)
Narration- After what must have been the longest flight I’ve ever been on, we finally arrived in Latveria.I didn’t let Penny or the boss know this, but this might be the last mission I’d do. I was seriously considering resigning, this secret agent life was seriously wearing me down. Maybe I’d retire early and go write my memoirs. But that’s  another issue for another time.
We passed through customs under the aliases of Mr and Mrs Parker, a newly wed couple on their honeymoon. I never pictured myself getting married so early, but if my mother were here she’d be so happy. The first thing I noticed when I got there is the amount of armed soldiers patrolling the streets. Funny, Communists claim that their way of life is the true way to freedom, but they always have to use military force to keep their civilians under control. I guess that saying that freedom isn’t free really is true. 
(All the while, Gorilla and Cockroach are silently watching them. After Angel and Penny walk off stage)
Gorilla- There they go. Lets get them.(starts to move)
Cockroach- No, you fool, we have to wait until he gets the briefcase, then we make our move.
Gorilla- O yeah, so what do we do till then.
Cockroach- Nothing. Just trail them and wait.
Gorilla- (thinks) I know. Let’s go watch a movie.
Cockroach- (angrily)You mean after all the trouble we got into last time, you want to go watch a movie again? You crazy!!!!
Gorilla- Oh, I’m sorry.(thinks) Wanna go play some football then.
Cockroach- (thinks)Alright. (Both walk off)

Scene 4(a classy nightclub, waitresses, valets etc, patrons could be sitting around the area, a stage could be in the centre for singers)

Narration- We checked into a 5 star hotel, which by Latverian standards mean it was one which actually had running water and a toilet in the room. But it didn’t matter, we wouldn’t be staying for too long. Soon Penny gave me my directives: I was to go to the Ursa Major, an exclusive invitation-only nightclub on the capital’s ritzy west side and meet my contact. She would be wearing a red dress with a white rose, her name: Alundra. 
(Angel pulls up outside the club (bottom of stage) in a pretend car, curtains closed in order to conceal the actual club)
Valet- Welcome to the Ursa Major sir. May I say that that is a beautiful car. Would you like me to park it for you?
Angel- (getting out, gives him the keys) Thank you very much. But be careful. It’s a rental.
Valet- Of course, sir. Please enjoy your stay.
Angel- I fully plan to. (walks off)
Valet (as soon as Angel steps off screen he speaks into his collar) He’s here.
(Angel walks into club, people should be sitting around drinking and talking with a couple of waiters and waitresses)
Angel - (spotting a woman fitting the description, walks over to her) Hi there. What’s a girl like you doing in a dump like this?
Woman (looks offended, slaps his face) I own this place. (walks off)
Angel ( puzzled takes out paper and looks at it, slaps forehead) Oh a WHITE DRESS and a RED ROSE.(LOOKS AROUND AND SEES A WOMAN FITTING THAT DESCRIPTION, goes up to her)
Angel- Hi there. What’s a girl like you doing in a dump like this?
Alundra- It’s not so bad now that you’re here.
Angel- Can I join you in a drink.
Alundra- No thank you. I’m on a special diet
Angel- (offers hand) The name’s Angel. Kyle Angel. APOSTLE sent me.
Alundra- Alundra Morrigan. I’m from the LUC.
Angel-(looks around) Are you sure it’s safe for us to talk here?
Alundra- Yes. The LUC owns this club. We use is as a front so we can meet and organise our activities in safety.
Angel- Ok. So now what is this package that you have for me.
Alundra- It’s under the table.(Angel starts to reach down) But don’t go for it yet. I have to debrief you on the situation before I give it to you. 
Angel- Ok. Fire away.( to passing waiter) Bring me a Coke, Crushed ice. Shaken not stirred.
Waiter-Why would I stir Coke? (walks off)
Alundra- This is the last remaining document from Project Tyndale. This was going to be our most ambitious project ever. Our scientists had been working on it around the clock at a secret facility for the past 2 years. But then our cover was blown. Someone tipped off the SERPENT and a strike force consisting of them and government soldiers attacked the facility.(looks down) Me and the contents of this briefcase are the only survivors.
Angel-(sympathetically) I’m sorry. But go on. What’s in the briefcase.
Alundra- My orders are not to tell you. We cannot risk you being captured before the mission is over and giving any information about it to the enemy. You are to take this document to an abandoned theater named the Magdelena in Aomoria. There you will meet your contact a man named Boris Dragonuv. He will tell you all you need to know. Am I clear?
Angel- As crystal. What am I to do now?
Alundra- Nothing, the ferry to Aomoria will not leave tomorrow. So till then you can relax and enjoy some of our finest entertainment.
(someone could come onstage and sing a gospel song. When they finish, soldiers burst in)
Head soldier- (angrily) Stop that noise, immediately!!!  (to crowd)  You all are in violation of Code 126 of the Entertainment Act. Playing music which promotes Christian lies. For that we are closing down this establishment (points to singer) Arrest her !!! (soldiers go and grab her) Let this be an example to you all. The next time we do this, I will have you all arrested. Now clear the area (to singer) Let’s see if you will still be able to sing after a few months in the work camps.
(Angel gets up as if to fight, Alundra pulls him down)
Alundra- No you mustn’t do anything! It will jeopardise the mission. Let’s just go. (Angel takes up suitcase, both walk out, Angel does it angrily)
(Outside)
Alundra-  This is where we part ways. The ferry will leave at noon tomorrow, sharp. So you  must be there no matter what. And I don’t have to tell you to try not to attract attention. 
Angel- Of course not.
Alundra- But before I go I must warn you. We have begun to think that there might be a traitor in your organisation who tipped off SERPENT about our project. For the past few months we have been subject to numerous raids on our secret facilities, just like that one I told you about.  They may have also informed them of your presence here. You must be extra careful.
Angel- I will be. What about you? What will you do now?
Alundra- I will go back underground and continue my work.
Angel-(shocked) But why stay here, it’s too dangerous. APOSTLE can arrange to get you out of the country.
Alundra- I know. Your commander already offered to do so, but I declined. My place is here doing God’s work.
Angel- But your cover has been blown. It’s only a matter of time before the find you.
Alundra- Do not worry. I’m not afraid. God takes care of His children. Good bye Angel. I’ll pray that God protects you on your mission.(walks off to the right)
(Angel pauses a bit then starts walking off in the opposite direction, butts into Gorilla and Cock roach)
Cockroach- Well, Well, Well. Kyle Angel, I presume?
Angel (turns around) I’m sorry sir but you’re mistaken. My name is Peter Parker.
Gorilla- Oh terribly sorry sir. (turns to walk off)
Cockroach- (pulls him back) Don’t believe him you idiot. That’s just an alias. You can’t fool us Angel. We know who you are.
Angel- Lemme guess, SERPENT agents right.
Cockroach- Correct. And you know what we want.
Angel- Very well, but 1st I like to know who I’m facing. What are your names?
Cockroach- We might as well tell you since it’s the last names you’ll ever hear. We’re agents 000 and 000.5, Cockroach and Gorilla.
Angel- Wait. Did I hear that correctly (points to Cockroach) Cockroach…. And Gorilla (points to Gorilla).
Both- Yes !!!
(Angel starts laughing hard to the point of crying)  Of all the animals you could choose. You took those two. What, were Mosquito and Baboon already taken.
Gorilla- I wanted Orangutan (Angel laughs even louder).
Cockroach - Enough of this stupidity. Hand over the briefcase.
Angel (wiping his eyes) Sorry guys, but I can’t do that.  Giving info to the enemy is against my contract. You won’t get it till I’m dead.
Cockroach- Well that can be arranged, Gorilla, shoot him.
Gorilla- Ummmm, (whispers) Cockroach, I don’t have a gun.
Cockroach- WHAAAT !!!!!
Gorilla- Mom threw it away, yesterday after I accidentally shot the cat. 
Cockroach- (upset) She always does that. She did that to mine last week. Fine. Fine
 Well Angel, we’ve decided not to shoot you after all. Instead, we’ll kill you with our martial arts training.
Angel- Oh really( mockingly) Are you sure, your mommy lets you do that. Or do those guys at the dojo play too rough?
Cockroach- (furiously) Get him!!! (both rush Angel and push him off stage, blows are heard, but while they do Angel walks off and leaves, unscathed while the blows continue, implying the the 2 agents are fighting each other. A while later Gorilla walks on)
Gorilla- (laughing) That’ll teach him to laugh at us huh bro. Cockroach? Where did he go. (Cockroach crawls on beat up) 
Gorilla- What you doing down there? (Cockroach mumbles something incoherent) Look, that’s his car driving off over there.(car sounds heard ,follows the cars movement with his eyes) How’d he get away. Cockroach, stop playing the fool, we gotta follow him.(runs off, Cockroach still can’t get up, Gorilla runs back on and pick him up and takes him off) You really need some vitamins.
 
Scene 5 (motel room)

Narration- After that encounter I was thoroughly convinced that there was indeed a traitor in APOSTLE. But who? Another issue for another time. After I lost those two losers, Penny and I got packed and left the hotel the next day. We got on the ferry with no problems and after the voyage we checked into a smaller nameless hotel. We had to take a train the next day so I 
decided to dedicate the night to getting to know my partner better.
(Penny walks on dressed to go out, Angel is sitting or reading dressed casually, in pyjamas or home clothes)  
Angel (Looks at her) Look who’s all dressed up. So where are we going?
Penny- Sorry, Romeo, but we aren’t going anywhere, I am going out to meet some contacts, while you are going to stay home and rest for the trip tomorrow.
Angel (showing fake sadness) We never go anywhere anymore. You used to take me out every night when we were dating..
Penny- (sarcastically) Ha, Ha, Ha. Very funny, dear. But work comes first. 
Angel -Work work work, that’s all you care about. The magic is gone from this marriage. (both laugh) But, seriously Penny be careful out there. Those two agents or others like them may be on our trail still. 
Penny- Stop worrying, ok? I can take care of myself. I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t wait up, dear. (laughs and walks out)
(Angel goes back to reading, after awhile he gets up and goes off stage to kitchen, Gorilla sneaks on bottom of stage, i.e to seem that they are outside of the room)
Gorilla-(looks back) Hey you, hurry up we don’t have all night. (Cockroach limps on, he could have a bandage or plasters on)
Cockroach- (angrily) Oh I’m terribly sorry if I’m keeping you back, but the cracked ribs and the minor concussion are slowing me down a bit.
Gorilla- Will you let it go already, I said I was sorry.
Cockroach- Sorry! Tell that to my missing teeth.
Gorilla-(sighs) We’ve been through this before. I thought you were him in that alley.
Cockroach (freaks out) How could you think I was him. He’s about a 3 feet taller than me!!
Gorilla- It was dark, ok. Look, Agent Judas said that Angel and the other agent are staying in this room. I just saw the other agent leave and I doubt she’ll be back for a while. So all we gotta do is break in, take him out and get the suitcase.
Cockroach- I can’t wait till I get my hands on him. I’m going to put so much lead up in him he’s gonna bleed pencil points.
Gorilla- I can’t wait either, but don’t get too hasty. He’s probably got the suitcase hidden, so we gotta either find it or get him show us where he stashed it. Then we can kill him.
Cockroach- Yeah yeah, did you remember to bring a gun this time?
Gorilla- Yeah, one for both of us (reaches in bag and gives a gun to him) Lets go. But remember we gotta be quiet.
(Sequence of events
•	Angel walks out of the room on stage.
•	Cockroach and Gorilla sneak into room and start snooping around. One hears a noise and both hide in room.
•	Angel walks on with a coke seemingly oblivious to their presence, puts coke on table. Remembers something and goes back off stage.
•	Gorilla and Cockroach start looking around again. Gorilla notices the drink and starts drinking it.)
Cockroach- (angrily whispers) You greedy pig!! What do you think you’re doing?
Gorilla- What  does it look like. I’m getting a drink. Besides, we’re gonna kill him, so why let it go to waste?
Cockroach- Good point. Lemme get some.(drinks some)
Gorilla-Wait, he’s coming back. (both hide as soon as Angel enters the room both jump out of their hiding place)
Cockroach - Hands up, Angel. (Angel obeys. Turns around slowly.)
Angel- Oh Cockroach, Gorilla what a nice surprise. For a minute there I actually thought I was in danger. Does your mommy know you two are out so late?
Gorilla- Always with the jokes, huh? Now it’s us who’re laughing. You didn’t think we’d find you here, didn’t ya?
Angel- To be honest, no. I’m quite astonished that you guys manage to find us wherever we go.
Gorilla- Yup, thanks to good old Agent Juda…
Cockroach- Quiet you fool! You’re not supposed to tell him about them. He can’t know about the double agent. 
Gorilla- Oops, sorry.
Cockroach- (to Angel) But anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s not as if you’re going to do anything about it we’ve got you now
Angel- Actually, you don’t. At least not in the next few seconds.
Cockroach- What?
Angel- Here’s a little bit of advice guys. When sneaking up on someone, you should try to talk as little as possible and you should never, ever argue. I heard you guys having your little tiff outside, so I made some preparations for when you got in.
Gorilla- So what. It’s too late to for you to do anything. If you haven’t noticed, we have the guns.
Angel- (laughs) Not for long.
Cockroach- Huh.
Angel- You see, since I knew you were coming in, I prepared a special treat for you. That Coke you drank has a special ingredient. Epsom 2000. 
Cockroach-What the heck is that?
Angel- Our latest technology in non lethal weaponry. A fast working, long lasting laxative.
Both- WHAAT!!!
Angel-Yup. I poured 2 packs of it in the coke. And it should kick in in 3, 2, 1 (Cockroach and 
Gorilla clutch their stomachs) Right on schedule.
Cockroach-(points gun) Quick, where is your bathroom.
Angel- Drop your guns first.
Gorilla- Tell us or we’ll shoot.
Angel- Oh you won’t be able to hold the guns much longer. Plus if you shoot me I can’t tell you anything. So drop em.(both oblige and kick them toward him)
Cockroach- Ok, ok ok, we dropped them. So where is it.
Angel- I don’t have one. This is a cheap motel remember. All the rooms share a bathroom on the ground floor, and since were on the 7th floor and the elevator is broken, I suggest you start running now (both run out while Angel laughs)
Cockroach- I’ll get you for this, Angel!!!!!.
(Angel picks up cell phone) Penny, it’s Angel, I was right, we do have a double agent. I just got discovered at the hotel. So I’m packing up our stuff and moving out. Meet me at the bus terminal in 2 hours….What? Oh don’t worry. They won’t follow me, they’ll be a bit busy for quite a while. (walks off laughing)

Scene 6 (dimly lit street corner)

(Cockroach walks on looking concerned, Gorilla enters from the other side)
Cockroach- (anxious) Did you find them?
Gorilla- No, not a trace.
Cockroach- Did you check everywhere I told you?
Gorilla- Yeah, the bus station, the other motels, even the guesthouses. Nothing. Face it 
Bro, they’re long gone. We failed. The boss is gonna have our heads when he finds out. 
Cockroach- (thinks) If he finds out.
Gorilla- Huh?
Cockroach- Think about it. Ol’ One Eye doesn’t know yet that he got away. Right?
Gorilla- (confused) Right.
Cockroach- So he’ll have to believe whatever we tell him has happened. Right?
Gorilla (starts to catch on) Right.
Cockroach- So the way I see it. Angel and the girl never got away. We were chasing them over the bridge but their car unfortunately lost control and fell into the river. Luckily, since it was late in the night, there were no witnesses and we managed to cover up the scene before anyone came. Of course, they’ll send divers to look for the car but the river is so deep and has such a strong current, they won’t find anything. You got me?
Gorilla- (laughs) Right.
Cockroach- (smiling) As a result, they can’t blame us for anything. I wasn’t our fault Angel couldn’t drive. I can’t wait till I see the look on his face when I tell him.
Heidern (walks on with Secretary) You won’t have to wait long. You can tell me right now.(both shocked but still salute)
Cockroach – (both salute)Umm, sir, Wwwwwwhat a surprise. We didn’t expect to see you out here. Um nnnnot that we’re not happy to see you? 
Heidern - Save it. You two were taking too long to finish the mission so I came to check in on you. Now I don’t see Angel or the briefcase. So I’m sure for your sakes there is a good explanation for this.
Cockroach-(terrified) Yyyes, sir. And Gorilla is going to tell you.
Gorilla(glares at Cockroach) Wwwell…
Heidern- (shouts) Out with it.
Gorilla (quickly, he messes up the story) Well we were chasing Angel in a car and he was driving and then when he  I mean….we got to the bridge, it umm lost control, I mean his car lost control and the bridge dropped in the water I mean the car fell off the bridge and fell into the river. You see. Perfectly understandable.(nervous laugh) 
Heidern- Oh really, and I suppose the car chase had you two very nauseous.
Cockroach- What do you mean.
Heidern- Why else would you two have been seen running into a bathroom and spending two hours?
Cockroach- I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Heidern- Secretary. Let them hear the report made.
Secretary (pulls out paper) 11:30 pm. Agents 000 and 00.5 were observed running to a bathroom on the bottom floor of the Fleabag Bed and Breakfast motel. Agents did not leave said bathroom until 12:30 am the proceding morning.
Cockroach: Ummm well…
Heidern (angrily) You fools. Don’t you think I would have had you two watched. I know about all of your failures and also I heard everything you two just discussed.
Gorilla- Bbbbbut.
Heidern- Silence!!! You two are useless. You can’t even do the simplest tasks and now you have the audacity to try to pull the wool over my eyes!!!! Oh sorry, my ONE EYE. That’s it. I’m through with you two. Give me your guns and go back to headquarters. I’ll deal with you two later (both obey, and walk off with their head hung low). Incompetent fools. Desperate times call for desperate measures. (pulls out phone) Agent Judas. This is King Cobra. Initiate plan “Snake in the Grass”.

Scene 7 

(Angel is sitting at a table thinking) 
Narration- After those 2 confirmed my suspicions about the traitor, I spent most of the next day trying to figure out who it could possibly be.. I would have given anything to find out who this person was so that I could pay them back in full for all the trouble they caused us. Little did I know how quickly I would get my answer. (Penny walks in holding a bottle)
Penny- Are you still trying to figure out who the double agent is?
Angel- Yeah, I’ve got to tell the Commander who it is as soon as possible. Who knows what other information they might leak out.
Penny- I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough. And I bet that he’ll be that last person you’d suspect. Anyway, I think this orange juice you bought tastes funny. Tell me what you think? (gives it to him)
Angel (tastes it) Ummm no. It’s ok. What time do we have to leave today?
Penny- The train to Aomoria leaves in the next 3 hours so we gotta be at the station an hour before then. So when you’re done playing detective you should go and pack.
Angel Yes dear.(wipes his face) By the way did you turn off the airconditioning?.
Penny- No, why? 
Angel- Because all of a sudden it’s gotten so hot in here.
Penny-(touches his forehead) Maybe you’ve caught something? Maybe you should go to bed and get some rest.
Angel-(acting delirious) No.. I feel…. perfectly fine….. I’m….. just ……a little.. (collapses on table)
Penny- Or maybe it’s the sleeping drug I put in that drink. (laughs) Like I told you, dear. It’d be the last person you suspected. (picks up cell phone) Colonel Heidern, Agent Judas reporting. (looks back at Angel lying on the table) We got him.

Scene 8- Serpent Headquarters 

(Angel is tied up on a chair unconscious; Heidern walks in with his assistant and Penny and throws a cup of water on him)
Heidern- Wake up 008. Did you have a good rest? You should have, that drug had you out for about 3 hours (Angel mumbles something incoherent) 
Penny- Don’t bother trying to talk dear, your lips and tongue will still be paralysed for a minute or so till the drug totally wears off. 
Heidern-But I can guess what your thinking. “Where am I? How did I get here?” Let me explain. You are at SERRPENT’s headquarters and you got here, thanks to your old friend Penny a.k.a Agent Judas here. (puts ear close to his head)What did you say? How did we manage to fool all of you so ingeniously? Well it was simple. Just follow my 3 steps of enemy infiltration.
(Angel mumbles again)
Heidern-Step 1- You find a new APOSTLE recruit greedy enough to betray the organisation.
Step 2- You have them continually slip you little tid bits of vital information about missions and other agents but not enough to arouse suspicion.
Angel- (angrily but slowly) Penny!....... I should have known!......  You were the only one who had 1st hand information about where I’d always be
Penny- (sarcastically) Very good, Angel. I told you, you’d figure it out eventually.(laughs) Not that it matters now though.
Heidern- Finally can talk I see. But I wasn’t finished. Finally, Step 3. Although I didn’t want to do this, since it’d blow Agent Judas’ cover. Have said double agent drug your adversary’s best operative, and bring them to you. I think I deserve a round of applause for that (both Penny and Secretary start applauding)
Heidern- Thank you. Thank you.
Angel- How could you have done it, you traitor. I can’t believe that you betrayed me, the organisation, the LUC, just for money.
Penny- Believe it, honey. It’s all nice that you and the other fools at APOSTLE waste your time protecting those missionaries or whatever it is you do, but a girl like me needs a bit more in life.
Angel-(sarcastically) Really, like what? 
Penny- Oh nothing much- Diamonds,, a mansion in the Caymans, a Porsche in the garage, an untraceable Swiss Bank account. You know the stuff the couple of million dollars that SERPENT is going to pay me will buy.(to Heidern) Right Commander?
Heidern-(smiles) Of course, my dear. But my look at the time (picks up briefcase) I just can’t stay. As you can guess, I’m a very busy man. But don’t worry Angel, after I dispose of whatever is in this case, I’ll be back so we can spend some time catching up. What’s the saying in the Bible? (thinks) An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Angel-(sarcastically) Congratulations, I’m surprised you can actually read.
Heidern- Yes, I can, shocking, considering what you did to my eye. But I quite like that saying. And since you took my eye, when I come back, I’ll take both of yours, along with some other body parts. One by one. (laughs)
Angel-(unafraid) Can’t wait. 
Heidern- Glad to hear. (to Penny) Now come my dear, we got lots to discuss, including your payment.
Penny- Oh I think you’ll want to pay me a bit more now. I’ve got something that you’ll find very interesting.
Heidern- Oh really, what?
Penny- While I was here I’ve been collecting some info on the LUC. Members, accomplices, hideouts etc. I’ve hit the jack pot and I’ve got it all down here. (takes out notepad)
Heidern-Excellent. You never cease to amaze me, Agent Judas. Now let’s go (turns to walk off). Oh wait. Secretary. Find someone to guard him till I get back, we can’t risk him escaping.
Secretary (looks at clipboard) Well sir, again everyone is busy and we only have two available agents- 000 and 000.5.
Heidern- (groans) Those two idiots again?? I wouldn’t even assign them to watch a houseplant.
Secretary- I’m sorry Sir, but there’s no one else available. Plus, he’ll be tied up so they won’t have to do much.
Heidern- Very well, send them in.(Secretary shouts for them Gorilla they walk in afraid)
Heidern- Hurry up you two, I don’t have all day. (Both fall to knees and start begging)
Cockroach- O please sir. Don’t kill us, or at least don’t kill me. It’s his fault, not me…
Heidern (annoyed) On your feet you two. Have some dignity for goodness sake. I’m not going to punish you… yet. I’m going to give you a chance to redeem yourselves. Listen very carefully.
Both- Yes sir.
Heidern- I’m going to discuss some matters with Agent Judas and I want you to watch Angel till I return. Don’t untie him, don’t touch him, don’t talk to him, don’t even look at him. Do you understand?
Both- Yes sir.
Heidern-I’ll be back in 15 minutes and he had better be here when I return. (to Penny) Let’s go. 
Secretary- Just a minute sir. Would you like me to have that info Agent Judas just gave you copied. 
Penny- Why should he. I’ve got the info right here.
Secretary-I can see that. But sir, You never know what might happen, suppose some coffee or ink spills on it? It’s always good to have it on backup, sir.
Heidern- (considers it) Good thinking, Secretary. (to Penny) Let her have it. Have a copy on my desk in 5 minutes.
Secretary- Yes sir,
(Penny, Secretary and Heidern walk out, leaving Angel with Cockroach and Gorilla. After a while Angel starts giggling. At 1st they ignore him but soon they can’t stand it)
Gorilla- What are you laughing at.
Angel- Oh nothing. (starts giggling again)
Gorilla-WHAT IS IT?
Angel- I’m just thinking about what your boss’ll do to you two when I escape. I heard that he likes to feed people to sharks.
Cockroach- That’s wishful thinking, pal. You’re not getting out of there. Except in a body bag, that is.
Angel- Actually I can, and I will in a few minutes.
Gorilla (sarcastically) – Oh yeah, Mr Houdini, how pray tell?
Angel- You see, I’m tied up with a Boyscout slip knot. One of the first knots I learned to escape  back in basic training. So I estimate I’ll be out in, oh about 3 or 4 minutes.
Gorilla- Oh yeah, well how do you suppose that you’ll get out with us here?
Angel- It shouldn’t be too hard considering what I did to you two back in the alley on 
Monday. By the way have you ribs healed yet Cockroach? 
Cockroach- (thinks) So what way would be the best to tie you up?
Angel- Ummm, the Indian double knot I think, I’ve never really been able to escape that one.
Gorilla- Really, so how do you do it.
Angel- I can’t actually tell you, I gotta show you it.
Cockroach- Oh no, you think I’m stupid, I’m not untying you.
Angel- Relax, you’ve got you friend there to stop me if I try anything don’t you?
Cockroach- No, I’m not doing it.
Angel- Oh well. I’ll just get away then. Is it true that they’re a lot of Great White Sharks along the coast, over here?
Cockroach-(jumps) Ok ok ok, let’s do this quick ok? Gorilla stand by the door so he won’t try anything and make sure no one’s coming. 
Gorilla- (concerned) But Cockroach you think we should do this. The commander said…
Cockroach- Just do it!!! (Gorilla goes to door,Angel begins to show Cockroach how to tie the knot, but looks confused)
Cockroach- What is it?
Angel- I can’t do this on my own, I need someone to do it on. You think maybe he could ….(points to Gorilla) 
Cockroach- Um, I don’t think so
Angel- Don’t worry. You’ll be right here so I can’t try anything.
Cockroach (thinks) Ok. Gorilla come and sit here.
Gorilla- Are you sure we should be doing this?
Cockroach-(annoyed) Just come on. You want him to get away? ( Gorilla comes and sits, Angel begins tying him up, all the while he is giving Cockroach instructions)
Angel- Ok, now all you gotta do is put your hand here for a minute, to hold down the rope (Cockroach obliges, Angel ties it over) and your next one here (Cockroach obliges, Angel ties it over- basically, he uses the rope to tie Cockroach to the already tied up Gorilla)
Angel- Thanks a lot guys. But I gotta go, bye (Angel walks out , Cockroach and Gorilla realise that’s he’s tied them up and start struggling arguing)
Angel (comes back in) By the way where’s Heidern’s office?
Gorilla- Go up the stairs. 2nd door on the left.
Angel- Thanks (walks out, they start arguing again)

Scene 9 (Heidern’s office)

Narration- I rushed through SERPENT’s headquarters to Heidern’s office as fast as I could. I didn’t know what was in the briefcase and I didn’t know why it was so important but I knew one thing I couldn’t let Heidern destroy it. I knew had to get it way from him by any means necessary.
 (Angel bursts in Heidern’s office, Heidern is standing,  Penny is lying dead on the floor)
Angel-(shouts) Penny !!  Heidern What did you do to her,
 Heidern- (looks down) Oh her. Let’s say I terminated her contract with us. 
Angel- (furious) But why, you animal?
Heidern- Let’s say her services were no longer needed. By betraying you, she blew her cover and we’d have no more use for her. Besides we really couldn’t afford to pay her that  $10 million she wanted. Good business sense isn’t it (laughs)
Angel (gets angry and rushes forward) Why you….!!!
Heidern- (pulls out gun) Uh uh uh. I just had this suit cleaned. 5 steps back please (Angel walks back)
Angel- (angrily) So you use her, then you kill her when she’s no longer valuable. Typical SERPENT. Typical you.
Heidern- Ah you know me sooo well, 008. Besides, if it’s one thing we at SERPENT hate more than Christians, its traitors. It’s nothing less than what she deserved. But you should be thankful, I did exactly what you wanted to do to her.
Angel- (shocked) I never wanted to kill her. Probably have her locked up for what she did but not that!!!
Heidern- Keep telling yourself that and you’ll believe it someday. By the way are Cockroach and Gorilla alive?
Angel- Yes,  but they’re a bit tied up at the moment though.
Heidern- Good. Now that I’m done with her, it’s time to get rid of 3 more pests: namely you and those two fools.
Angel- (suspicious)What do you mean?
Heidern- In a few minutes, the police will get a call from here about a double murder. They’ll come and find her and your bodies both shot to death. The ballistics will show that the gun that shot her will be this one (pulls out other gun) with Cockroach’s prints on it and the one that shot you will be the one I’m holding now which has Gorilla’s prints on it. I of course will know nothing of it and will take no responsibility. They both take the blame, get locked up and I suppose eventually executed for the murders and voila, I kill 4 birds with 1 stone, or 2 bullets if you prefer. (laughs) Ingenious huh?
Angel-(disgusted) Venomous, cold blooded and deceptive. You really are a snake to the core aren’t you.
Heidern- Flattery will get you nowhere, Angel. But I’ve wasted enough time. Goodbye, its been nice knowing you. (goes and stands by door, raises gun, pulls trigger but it doesn’t fire) That’s odd, I could’ve sworn I loaded this thing.
Angel- (smiles) Maybe you did?
Heidern-(angry) What are you talking about) 
Angel- (laughs) You think you’re so smart putting in your little traitor in my organisation. But let me fill you in on something. You’re not the only one who knows about using double agents. 
Heidern-(confused) Huh ?!?(door behind Heidern opens and hits him on the head, knocking him down, Secretary walks in)
Heidern- You idiot, look what you’ve done, quick go call security.
Secretary- Sorry sir, but it’s against my orders.
Heidern- What are you… (Secretary hits him and knocks him out)
Angel- Thanks a lot Secretary, but do you think you could’ve been a bit earlier next time.
Secretary- Sorry about that, I was a bit busy. It’s not easy doing this double agent thing you know.
Angel- Ah, no problem, you got here just in time.
Secretary- I’ve got to apologise again about not warning you about Agent Judas. I suspected that he had a mole in APOSTLE but I didn’t have a clue who it was and I couldn’t tip you off because Heidern had us all under close observation. The only thing I could do was convince him to send his 2 most incompetent agents after you and hope you could handle them.
Angel- (laughs) Good thinking. I always wondered why he’d send such idiots to stop me. Oh and am I safe to assume that it was you who took the bullets out of that gun.
Secretary- Of course it was. But I had no idea that Agent Judas would have blown her cover just to get you. I couldn’t possibly have anticipated that.
Angel- Me neither. But what about those names she got down? If anyone else sees that, the LUC is doomed.
Secretary- Relax. I already got that covered. When Heidern sent me to copy them, they accidentally found their way into the paper shredder and then the incinerator outside. SERPENT won’t find out anything. 
Angel- Ok great, one last thing to worry about. 
Secretary-But why are you still here, you got a mission to do. Go get the suitcase and get out of here.
Angel-So what do we do about him (points to Heidern)
Secretary- I’ve got the perfect plan for him. In about 2 minutes, the police will get an anonymous call about a murder here. They’ll arrive and find Agent Judas’ body and an unconscious Heidern with the gun that matches the bullets in his hand. He’ll be arrested and out of our hair for good I hope.
Angel- Don’t hold your breath, SERPENT has a lot of connections, but I think it’ll keep him occupied for a while at least. But what about you, your cover is blown now what do you do?
Secretary- (thinks)  I guess I’ll have to leave and lay low, but I don’t know if I can get out of the country.
Angel(thinks) I got an idea. I entered this country with a wife and I’ll leave with one too.
Secretary- (thinks and then laughs) Perfect idea. So when’s the wedding?
 Angel-Meet me tomorrow at rendezvous point 456 and we’ll work out the particulars. I gotta go. Bye (runs out with briefcase, Heidern starts to move, Secretary knocks him out again)

Scene 10: Abandoned theatre (could have old furniture or debris strewn around)

Narration: After that situation, I rushed to the rendez-vous point as fast as I could. For two reasons: firstly I wanted to get this  accursed suitcase out of my hand as quickly as possible and secondly I wanted to find out exactly what I contained and why SERPENT wanted to get it so badly. Twice during the trip I almost opened it myself and it took all of my willpower to resist it. When i finally I met my contact, he’d have a lot of explaining to do.
 
(Angel walks in room with briefcase looks around)
Angel- Hello, is anyone here? (man walks in)
Dragunov- Yes my son, can I help you?
Angel- I have a special delivery for a Mr Boris Dragonuv. 
Dragunov- Ah, finally, I’ve been waiting so long for this to come. Thank you so very much. 
Angel- And I’ve been waiting for so long to get rid of it (hands him the suitcase) So please tell me. What is in this briefcase and why’s it so important? And while I’m at it, what was Project Tyndale about. I’m dying to know.
Dragunov- Patience, my son. All will be revealed (sets briefcase on table and open it, taking out a Bible).
Angel (stares in disbelief for a few seconds) A Bible??? (furious) A Bible ?!?!. You mean to tell me that I’ve been running across this cesspool of a country like a headless chicken with enemy agents on my back like white on rice for the past week so that I can deliver a Bible????
Dragunov- Calm down my son. Let me exp-
Angel- Don’t tell me to calm down, old man. It wasn’t you who’s been risking his neck and nearly got killed 3 times.
Dragunov- Please try to understand my son…
Angel- And stop calling me son !!! (starts pacing) So that’s what it’s come to huh. The boss has delegated me to a delivery boy. Well no more, I’ve made my decision. 1st thing I do when I get back is tender my resignation. That’ll teach them to waste my time.
 Dragunov- Let’s not be hasty, ok. Here have a seat and let me explain (pulls out chair)
Angel- Ok (angrily sits)
Dragunov- Read this Bible and tell me what you see.
Angel (looks) Nothing. It’s in a language I don’t understand.
Dragunov- Precisely. It’s it the native language of Latveria. The language most of us speak.
Angel- Yeah, so….
Dragunov- This is the only known Bible in this language. Project Tyndale was aimed at translating the Scripture into our language. It was named after William Tyndale who was executed in 1536 for translating the Bible into English from Latin . 
Angel- (interested) I see.
Dragunov- For months our translators worked around the clock to do this. When we had finally finished the first set, the SERPENT agents attacked. They killed most of the translators and destroyed the Bibles. Fortunately, one of the translators, Alundra, survived and managed to escape with one of the Bibles. This is it.  That’s why we asked them to send you to bring it to me so a fresh set could be copied. Now do you understand??? 
Angel- (shocked) I,  I, I…
Dragunov- You see. Many of the things that the people have in your homeland and take for granted are not available to us here. I don’t have to tell you how important a Bible is to a ministry. But very few people have them in Latveria and those that do cannot read them because it’s not in their language. With these translated Bibles, now many of our brothers and sisters can read and witness to others much more easily. 
Angel- (gets up) I’m truly sorry my friend, I can see now that all this effort was truly worth it.
Dragunov- It is more than worth it, my friend. Over the years many good people have given their lives to spread God’s word here and throughout the world, and it will never stop. The Devil always finds men to persecute God’s people and try to destroy their work, whether they be Romans, Communists, Muslims or terrorists. As long as there are men like those in SERPENT to pursue us, we’ll rely on friends like those in APOSTLE to help defend us and our work. God has given you a great responsibility towards helping His work. Will you still do your duty? 
Angel- I .. I don’t know. I`ll have to think about it.
Dragunov- I’ll pray that you make the right decision. But now we have to go our separate ways. God be with you my friend. (walks off)
Angel And you. (thinks and walks off)
Finale
Narration- Surprisingly, the trip home was incident free. Me and the “new Mrs Parker” simply got on the plane and went home safely (Angel and Secretary walk on with luggage). No one seemed to notice that my “wife” was a completely different woman from when we 1st arrived. It’s amazing what switching the picture on the passport can do. But for the whole flight back, the thought of whether I should quit still troubled me. (Angel walks on alone thinking) After that escapade, I was still unsure if I could handle any more of this lifestyle. I mean, did I really want to continue doing this for the rest of my life???  (phone rings Maroc’s voice) 008, you’re needed at headquarters , we have another mission for you.
(Angel hangs up and thinks)  
Narration- My answer?YES (RUNS OFF as music plays)
.................................................................................... 
© Brian Alleyne, all rights reserved. This script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: brian_alleyne@hotmail.com