It's really not our problem!

By Alden Frye


Two passers-by spot a house fire, and debate whether they should get involved.




PAT - Let's sit down for a minute.

MEL - Ok, but we need to hurry, It's getting really late!

PAT - Do you smell smoke?

MEL - Yeah, a little bit.

PAT - I think it's from that house! I wonder if anybody's home... there aren't any lights on.

MEL - Who knows. If they are, they're probably sound asleep.

PAT - So, what do you think we should do?

MEL - About what?

PAT - About them! In the house! Don't you think we should let them know?

MEL - About that smell? We don't know for sure that it is smoke... or where it's coming

from. So if we're wrong we'll just make them mad at us -- for no good reason!

PAT - But they could be in danger!

MEL - Yeah, maybe they are -- but it's the middle of the night! I mean, they're all sleeping,

and I don't think we should bother them, OK? So let's get going.

PAT - You don't want to bother them?!

MEL - Don't you think they'll be a little upset about being waked up? Besides, it's really not any of our business. It's their house, and I'm pretty sure they have noses, so I think they'll probably wake up in time, anyway. Look, it's their house, so it's their problem! And I don't need somebody ticked off at me for no reason! Now can go please? I have things to do, ok?!

PAT - No! I think we should wake them up--I really do! We can't just walk away if there's even a chance that they're in real danger!

MEL - It's none of our business!! Look, if it will make you feel any better, I'll call the Fire Department when I get a chance, OK? Let them deal with it! It's their job, not ours! They're professionals and we're not! They know how to handle this sort of problem. Anyway, I've got enough stuff to worry about as it is, so can we get going, please?

PAT - Yeah, I guess you're right. Hey, wait for me!


Copyright Alden Frye, all rights reserved.
This script may be used free, provided no charge is made for entrance to the performance. In return the author would like to be told of any performance. He may be contacted at