The Book

By Pete Smithies & Andy Lund


Andy's book on death languishes for lack of a vital ingredient!







Andy: Not long left then.

Pete: What for?

Andy: Me book.

Pete: Your book?

Andy: Yep nearly finished now.

Pete: What, totally?

Andy: Yep.

Pete: Taken a while then?

Andy: 5 days!

Pete: 5 days?

Andy: Well, evenings mostly

Pete: Evenings?

Andy: Well, when there wasn't anything on the telly

Pete: What's it about then?

Andy: About 6 pages.

Pete: 6!

Andy: Both sides!

Pete: Oh, that's different then.

Andy: Should be a best seller, I reckon.

Pete: But what's it about?

Andy: Death!

Pete: Death?

Andy: Yeah, What 'appens when we shrug off this mortal coil, so to speak.

Pete: Oh, I see - Well, what happens then?

Andy: When?

Pete: When we die.

Andy: Well....

Pete: Yes....

Andy: Dunno.

Pete: You don't know?

Andy: 'Aven't got to that bit yet.

Pete: But you said that's what it's about.

Andy: Ah, yes but...

Pete: But what?

Andy: Haven't finished my research have I?

Pete: Why?

Andy: Lack of material.

Pete: Lack of material?

Andy: Yeah.

Pete: Why?

Andy: Dead people.

Pete: Come again?

Andy: They're refusing to talk - deliberately keeping shtum.

Pete: Well they would -

Andy: You know why, don't you!

Pete: Humour me.

Andy: It's a conspiracy - they're all in it together.

Pete: Oh I see, so these dead people...

Andy: Hiding the truth.

Pete: From you?

Andy: They don't want us to know, you see.

Pete: Know what?

Andy: What's gonna 'appen - when we snuff it.

Pete: So where does that leave you then?

Andy: With an unfinished classic mate!

Pete: Shame, that.

Andy: It could've revolutionizated the world that book.

Pete: Yeah.

Andy: Could've been really good news, that book.

Pete: Suppose.

Andy: Could've answered lots of people's questions...

Pete: But...

Andy: Would've been a real God send, that book.

Pete: Yeah - a bit like God's book then?

Andy: Huh?

Pete: You know, the one He actually finished!



© Pete Smithies & Andy Lund 1999
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed.
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