Wires Crossed

(Part 2 of 4 dramas about the Bentleys and Stevens)

By Erina Caradus

Summary:	The amusing but sadly real consequences of miscommunication between the sexes are seen in the marriages of two sets of friends. Tony, an insensitive kiwi bloke, who really does love his wife, thinks the differences between men & women are too big to handle. Monica & Brent make the opposite mistake and forget that there is such a thing as gender difference. (There is some deliberate stereo-typing in this drama to fit in with the framework of the message which was used)

Note: 	This is the second of a series of 4 dramas involving two married couples: the Bentleys and the Stevens. It can be performed as a series or on its own. The 1st and 4th titles in the series are: ‘Men are from Mars’ & ‘Look who’s talking’. The 3rd drama is a re-worked script from Willow Creek. ‘Better or worse Part 5’ (You will need to purchase that from WCC but can then ask for our changes) 

Staging:	Scene 1: Tony & Jo’s house - couch 
		Scene2: Monica & Brent’s house - small table, candle, glasses	

Characters: 	Tony & Jo – an ordinary married couple who love each other but don’t understand a lot about how to make their marriage work. They have a 3-year-old son, Tristan and a baby daughter, Casey.
	Brent & Monica – a working couple with Emma (6) and Kate (4). The marriage has soured and will dissolve if they don’t get help soon.

Dress:	Tony – casual dress
	Jo – wearing new clothes bought that morning (high heels, short skirt etc.)
	Monica  & Brent – smartly dressed
	
Script

Tony is sitting on the couch watching TV (imagined) with the remote in his hand. The phone rings and he puts down the remote on the couch and goes to answer the phone.

Tony:		(answering the phone) Tony here…(sounds pleased) Hi Monica…(in a 
martyr tone) bearing up, bearing up…yeah, I’ve been off work for 5 days…no, Jo isn’t home yet, she took the kids round to her Mum’s for the afternoon to give me a break….no, I haven’t seen her new clothes yet…it was real nice of you to take her shopping, Monica - be good to see her smartened up a bit…yeah, sure, I’ll get her to ring you. Bye.

Tony returns to the couch and TV watching.
Enter Jo from behind the couch.  

Tony:		Hi, luv. Monica just rang for you. She wants you to call her back.

Without replying Jo leans over the back of the couch, picks up remote and points it at the TV.

Tony:		(standing up, indignantly) Heh, what d’ya think ya doing?

Jo walks towards him and fingers his collar

Jo:		Hi, Tony honey. I’m home. (Steps back and twirls around) How do you 
think I look?

Tony is impressed but not good at showing it. He looks her up and down twice.

Tony:		You look, you look …(thinking of a funny joke) You look just like your 
Mother	!

Jo:		(devastated) Tony! (She stares in disbelief)

Tony:		(oblivious he has offended, in a very loving tone) Come on, luv, give us a 
 hug!

Jo comes up to Tony and slaps him on the face then runs from the room crying

Tony:		(bemused) Blimey, woman. I was just joking. Pull your head in!
		For Pete’s sake – I’m off. (Pulls on a jacket) Head off to Outram. Least 
there’s no Sheilas in the pub there –  need a break from these emotional women…blimey… (He leaves)

Change of scene to Monica & Brent’s house
 A small table with a wine bottle and 2 wine glasses.
The phone rings.

Monica:	(answering the phone) Hello, Monica Stevens speaking…Jo! Is everything 
all right? You sound awful! What did Tony think of the clothes? 
…..What? …He did? …. I don’t blame you, I would have hit him too… you poor darling…look I have to go - it’s actually our wedding anniversary. I’ve left the girls with my sister and I’m taking Brent out to Abalones for a surprise tea. … yes, I think Brent’s a lucky man too. Look, I’ll ring you tomorrow. Bye.

Monica puts down the phone and stands by the table with a wine glass in her hand looking thoughtful.

Monica:	We’ll do it just like when we were first married …a romantic dinner at 
Abalones and a long cosy evening just talking together… 

 Brent enters. He carries a video in his hand, a plastic bag with Chinese takeaways, a bottle of wine and a large parcel behind his back.

Monica:	(from behind the table, holding up the bottle of wine) Happy wedding 
anniversary, Brent.

Brent:		Snap! (Holding up his bottle) Great minds think alike. Oh, well – double 
the fun! (Monica looks a bit put out) And for my next surprise … Chinese takeaways! I got all your old favourites - Chicken Fried rice, Pork Balls and Beef Chow Mein. 

Monica:	(annoyed) Brent – that’s awful! I’ve booked us a table at  Abalones                       
for 7:00. Why didn’t you ask me first?

Brent:		(hurt) Ask you? I thought this would be a nice surprise. Last time I did this 
you told me how romantic I was.
		I even got a video for us to watch after the takeaways.
		I’ve heard it’s a really good one.

Monica:	(indignantly) The Gladiator! (Sarcastically) What an absolutely marvellous way to spend your wedding anniversary.
		.
Brent:		(bringing out the large parcel) Oh, by the way. I got you a little something 
to mark the occasion. Actually quite a big something. 

Monica: 	(softening a little) Well, this is a surprise. (She pulls off the paper to reveal 
a new ironing board. She is stunned) An ironing board! Brent! An ironing 
board!

Brent:		(annoyed) Yes – it’s an ironing board. Are you going to say anything else?
		Like, thank you or I like it?

Monica:	(frustrated) Like it? Like it? What a totally ridiculous thing to give your 
wife on her wedding anniversary! How unromantic can you get?

Brent:		Of all the ungrateful … I don’t believe it! You’re always going on about 
how lousy our ironing board is and how much you hate ironing. I thought it would make your life easier.

Monica:	Easier?! I don’t hate ironing because of my ironing board. I hate ironing 
because I hate ironing. Like I hate violent movies like I hate takeaways like I hate this marriage. Here I try my best to plan a special evening and you just ruin it. I’ve had it Brent Stevens – I’m off… (Sarcastically) and by the way…Happy Wedding Anniversary.

She thrusts a present into his hand as she stamps out of the house.

Brent:		(pulls off the paper and holds up a”something a woman would like but a 
guy hate”) For goodness sake, what would I do with this?  A man tries his best to save his marriage and this is what he gets for it!  (Looks silently at the ground, then shrugs his shoulders)
Oh well, shame to waste a good movie. 
(Holding the video in a salute position) We who are about to die salute you

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© Erina Caradus (Dunedin City Baptist) February 2001
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. Our drama group can be contacted at the following address: Caradii@xtra.co.nz