Gracie: (Coming in from back of auditorium with a small bag in hand) Oh, George, George! Here I am! Am I late? Time seems to just slip away when youíre at the mall with a charge card.
George: Yes, youíre late, Gracie, but come on up here. Here she is, folks, my wife Gracie. Say hello, Gracie.
Gracie: Hello, Gracie.
George: So, youíve been gone for a very long time. What did you buy?
Gracie: Youíll be happy to know that I only bought two things, George.
George: That does make me happy, Gracie. What did you buy?
Gracie: First I bought this pair of socks.
George: Socks. Thatís good.
Gracie: And they were on sale, too, for half price.
George: Thatís very good. How much?
George: I like the sound of this shopping trip. What else did you buy?
Gracie: A car.
George: (Chokes on coffee) A car??
Gracie: Thatís right.
George: How can you buy a car at the mall?
Gracie: The salesman said something about a car show.
George: Oh, they had a car show at the mall.
Gracie: So, you knew about it too!
George: No, Gracie. Oh, never mind. What kind of car did you buy?
Gracie: Well, you know how Iíve always dreamed of owning a red vintage mustang with white leather seats and the little mustang imprinted on the leather?
George: Yes, so you bought a mustang.
Gracie: I would have but they didnít have one.
George: So what did you buy?
Gracie: A little yellow car.
George: (George echoes her) A little yellow car.
Gracie: Thatís right.
George: What kind of car is it?
Gracie: Itís a convertible.
George: A convertible.
George: What year is it?
Gracie: Why, itís 1999. It has been since January, George. You should know that by now.
George: No, no, Gracie. I mean what year is the car?
Gracie: Oh. Itís a new one Ė year 2,000!
George: You bought a brand new car?
Gracie: Yes, I did, but it does have a few miles on it Ė 3,208.3 miles to be exact.
George: So itís a demonstrator.
Gracie: I donít think so. It seemed pretty peaceable to me.
George: What I mean is it was probably a company car.
Gracie: No. It was all by itself.
George: Letís move on here, Gracie. What kind of options does it have?
Gracie: Donít be silly, George. A car doesnít have choices.
George: You have a point there, Gracie. Does it have air conditioning?
Gracie: Yes. Manual air conditioning.
Gracie: Yes, the salesman said it works like this. (She pretends to roll window down.)
George: Does it have white sidewalls?
Gracie: Of course not, George. Its sides are yellow just like its hood and trunk.
George: Of course. Is it automatic?
Gracie: No. You have to drive it.
George: How much did you pay for this little yellow convertible?
Gracie: Well thatís what took me so long, George.
George: It is?
Gracie: Yes. I had to pay cash.
Gracie: Yes and all the banks were closed this afternoon. I had to go all over town to dozens of stores to cash enough checks to get $3,500 in cash.
George: You bought a brand new convertible for $3,500 cash?
Gracie: A good deal, huh, George?
George: A very good deal. Almost too good to be true.
Gracie: I know. I was very lucky.
George: How many cars were at this car show, Gracie?
Gracie: Oh, I got the last one. The salesman told me thereíd been 100s of them there in the morning, though.
George: Was this car inside the mall, Gracie?
Gracie: Of course not, George. It was out in the parking lot where it belonged.
George: Did the salesman give you the title?
Gracie: Of course, he did.
George: Good. Where is it?
Gracie: You mean what is it. He said the title is Chrysler Sebring.
George: Gracie, do you realize that you just bought a hot car?
Gracie: No, I didnít, George. I left the top down so it would be cool. Is that a police siren I hear?
George: Say good night, Gracie. (He takes her hand & pulls her offstage as she says:
Gracie: Good night, Gracie.
Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
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