May the Foot Be With You

By Fred Lane


An aspiring jedi ant named Louise Groundwalker has arrived at the home of Yogurt, a jedi master ant, wise in the ways of the "Foot". During their discussion, you discover that they are talking about humans, but all they know about humans is their feet.



Light saber, small table for Yogurtî to sit on, 2 pairs of ant antenna, tan table cloth, 2 short neutral colored robes


Table at center against screen covered with tan cloth, Yogurt seated crossed-legged meditating (like the monkey in Lion King), wearing a robe. Spot light on Yogurt as play begins. colored lights on rest of stage.


(Video of opening scene of Star Wars, end as scrolling text disappears)

(Louise enters from down right aisle, in an imaginary sword fight with light saber)

Louise: (stops at front in light, turns to audience) I am Louise Groundwalker, young jedi ant, seeking the great jedi master ant, Yogurt to learn the way of the foot! With master Yogurt's training, I will be faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than a locomotive, able to leap tall....(pauses as if confused) wait a minute,, no that's not right! I'll be a great jedi ant like my father before me! (happily) That's it, yes, I've got it now!

(Louise turns toward Yogurt, who is several feet away...speaks to audience) Ah Ha! There is a creature that may know where I can find the great Yogurt. (Holds saber as if defending herself, approaches Yogurt slowly, carefully; about 4 feet away, stop and turn halfway to audience and speak) YOU...WHO ARE YOU???

Yogurt: (slowly opens eyes and slowly turns to Louise; speaks slowly, like Yoda) Away put your weapon, here you need it not...

Louise: What did you say? Oh, I don't need my weapon, okay. (closes light saber and turns it off) I am looking for a great jedi master warrior ant named Yogurt.

Yogurt: Hummm, wars not make one great, but learning the way of the foot great will make you. I am Yogurt and Yogurt wise can make you in the way of the foot. Listen, young grasshopper, er, young jedi ant, and the way of the foot learn!

Louise: Yes, master Yogurt! (bowing)

Yogurt: (gets off table slowly, painfully and walks to center stage, with Louise following) Yes, my young apprentice, the foot everything around us controls , it dominates our destiny. When we enter the great house of the foot, through the great caverns of brick, the foot provides us with a great feast of sugar and meat. As we scale the towers of SPSA, we find rewards enough for eternity to last. The foot is a great ally, but you must the dark side of the foot beware. Those who carelessly under the shadow of the great foot wander, are never seen again! (pause) Your father was such a jedi ant.

Louise: (excitedly) You knew my father!?

Yogurt: Your father a great jedi ant he was, but he was seduced by the dark side of the foot. I was there the day that the darkness came, and the great foot from the heavens fell and crushed your father.

Louise: O, my poor father! Mashed by the foot!

Yogurt: He was a brave jedi ant, and a friend. You must beware the dark side, Louise, or his same fate suffer you will!

Louise: I will, Master Yogurt, I will. I must go now and save my friends who are in danger from the dark side of the foot! (Begin to leave)

Yogurt: Wait! With your training you must complete! You are strong enough not the dark side yet to face!

Louise: (Pause and turn back) What did you say?

Yogurt: Stay here until you're stronger...

Louise: Oh. (return to leaving, open light saber and turn it on, begin to shadow fight) No, I must save my friends! (pause to speak to Yogurt) But I shall return to finish what I began...I promise! (Return to shadow fighting and leaving)

Yogurt: Remember your training, remember what you have learned, remember the power of the dark side of the foot, remember your teeth to floss after brushing.

Louise: I will, master Yogurt, I will!!!

(Lights dim)


© Fred Lane, Crosswind Community Church
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: