Summary: The birth of Jesus from various points of view. Humorous in tone but shows that those who got to witness the events surrounding the birth were ordinary people in an extraordinary time.
Style: Light-hearted Duration: 15-20 min
Actors: 2M, 2F, 5M/F
1st Innkeeper (male or female- only speaks one line)
2nd Innkeeper (male or female- only speaks one line)
Shepherd 1 (male or female)
Shepherd 2 (male or female)
Angel (male or female)
(Innkeeper and Inkeeper's Wife walk center stage together, talking as they walk- Innkeeper's wife has towel draped over arm)
Innkeeper: I don’t believe it. Fully booked. Every room full except the barn and, who knows, if someone is really desperate for somewhere to stay I might be able to make a few more pennies.
Innkeepers Wife: I don’t think anyone would be that desperate dear; even the animals want to move out.
Innkeeper: Cheeky. It’s not that bad in there, I mean at least it’s dry.
Innkeeper’s Wife: True. It smells really bad, but at least it’s dry.
Innkeeper: I was only saying, it’s there if we need it.
Innkeeper’s wife: Which I don’t think we will. Fully booked, just creates one problem.
Innkeeper: Only one?
Innkeeper’s wife: Only one that affects me.
Innkeeper: Which is?
Innkeeper’s Wife: How am I going to manage. I have so much to do when we only have a couple of rooms booked.
Innkeeper: Hmmmmm, never thought of that.
Innkeeper’s wife: No, didn’t think you would’ve. Can you afford to get me any help?
Innkeeper: Not really.
Innkeeper’s wife: None at all?
Innkeeper: No. The money we make by being fully booked will just about cover what we owe.
Innkeeper’s Wife: Typical. In that case it unfortunately looks like you’re going to have to get your hands dirty and help me out.
Innkeeper: What do you mean unfortunately?
Innkeeper’s Wife: Oh come on, you know exactly why. You just get in my way. But I suppose if we can’t afford to get any help I’ll just have to put up with you.
Innkeeper: Makes me feel so special. It will be worth it though, you’ll see.
Innkeeper’s wife: I suppose so, although it would have been nice to have made some extra money.
Innkeeper: True. Who knows, if someone is desperate enough they may just pay over the odds money to sleep in our barn.
Innkeeper’s Wife: You and that barn. You might just be in there yourself after tomorrow.
Innkeeper’s Wife: You know I love ya, really.
Innkeeper: Sure I do. I suppose we had better get some rest, ready for our busy day tomorrow. I know I’m going to need it.
Innkeeper’s Wife: That you will dear, that you will. (both exit together innkeeper side)
(Note: Designate one side of stage as innkeeper side)
(Joseph and Mary, looking pregnant, enter a few steps onstage opposite innkeeper side)
Joseph: Gosh it’s busy. I had a feeling it might be but I didn’t realise it would be this bad.
Mary: It’s a good job you booked us a room in advance isn’t it.
Joseph: (panicking slightly) Yeah in advance.
Mary: (noticing the panic in his voice) you have booked us a room, haven’t you?
Joseph: Of course I have, I’m not stupid.
Mary: So which one is it then, as I’m beat and could do with a lie down.
Joseph: (looking around for the nicest one) (quietly to himself) which one is it.
Mary: You haven’t forgotten what it’s called have you.
Joseph: No of course not, what do you take me for.
Mary: I’m too much of a lady to answer that, but now you come to mention it you’re a ...aarrrrggghhhhh (clutching her stomach).
Joseph: I’m an aaarrrrrgggggghhhhh? Never heard of that.
Mary: Funny, you won’t be laughing in a minute though because I think the baby might be on its way.
Joseph: (freaking out) what! Now? We haven’t got time to have it now! We need to find a ro... (stops in mid-word)
Mary: Ah so much for booking in advance.
Joseph: (calming down slightly) I meant I need to find our room in the inn I booked ages and ages ago.
Mary: I suggest you hurry up, and decide which one you’re going to try and find a room in before it’s too late and the baby is born right here.
Joseph: Fine, I will. You just wait here, make yourself comfy and I’ll be back before you know it with the best room ever.
Mary: (shouting, clutching stomach again)) Ggggggoooooooooo.
Joseph: Right. (walking quickly over to other side of stage- 1st Innkeeper steps out from innkeeper side) Hello sir, I was just wondering if ...
1st Innkeeper: Hahaha you’re having a laugh aren’t you. (exits)
Joseph: (to himself) No I wasn’t actually. Have you met Mary? (takes one step sideways- 2nd Innkeeper steps out) Hey there, I was just wondering if by any...
2nd Innkeeper: No! (turns his back to Joseph, muttering to himself) No chance whatsoever; what a wally and obviously a bit dim. (exits)
Joseph: (shouting and a little upset) OI I heard that and if you ask me it was a little bit rude. (walks back to Mary a little deflated)
Mary: Any luck finding our so-called room?
Joseph: No. Not yet. I’ll just have a little rest and then I’ll try some more.
Mary: Ok that’s fine, you just have a little rest don’t worry about me and the simple little fact that I’M GOING TO HAVE A BABY.
Joseph: Ok, ok hang on I’m going. (walking back over to where other inns were- Innkeeper steps out) Hi, I hate to bother you and I know what you’re probably going to say but I really need a room.
Innkeeper: I’m so sorry but we are fully booked, have been for ages. (turns to walk off)
Joseph: (falls to knees grabbing Innkeeper's leg) You don’t understand, you’ve got to help me. I’m not letting go until you agree to help me. My life is not going to be worth living if I leave here empty-handed, so I’ve got nothing to lose.
Innkeeper: (shaking his leg trying to get it free) My life isn’t going to be worth living if you don’t let me go so I can take dinner to our guests. Now come on, let go, it can’t be that bad.
Joseph: Wanna bet? My wife Mary is about to give birth any minute, any minute I say, and because I’m a bloke I forgot to book our room in advance. And now she is going to give birth to our baby out in the street in front of everyone. I’m done for I’m telling ya, it’s over.
Innkeeper: (feeling sorry for Joseph) Ah that’s not good, but I really don’t have any more rooms available, but I do have a barn around the back. It’s not ideal but it’s out of the street and out of the way of everyone.
Joseph: (very excited) Great, that’s great, thank you.
Innkeeper: Well maybe you should let go of my leg and go and fetch your wife so I can show you where it is.
Joseph: Right, let go of your leg and go and get Mary. (letting go of the Innkeepers leg) Right, I’ll just go and get Mary then.
Innkeeper: Good idea.
Joseph: (going to fetch Mary) (shouting) Mary, Mary come on quick I’ve got us a room.
Mary: Bout time.
Joseph: (excited) Come on, come on. (Almost dragging Mary over to the Innkeeper)
Innkeeper: This way, follow me. (following lines said as all start walking slowly towards opposite side of stage from whence Joseph and Mary just were, then slowly back to where they started)
Mary: (worrying) Er Joseph, quick question, why are we leaving the inn and all the lovely rooms and going around the back where the animals go?
Joseph: Cos this is a special room for just us because we are such special people dear.
Innkeeper: (stopping just before inkeeper exit) There you go, enjoy.
Mary: What? Joseph is he for real? You expect me to give birth here in the barn?
Joseph: Kinda, its dry and better than out in the street in front of everyone.
Mary: (shouting) Joseph, if this baby wasn’t coming right now I, I, I’d aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhh. (Joseph and Mary exit)
Innkeeper: (takes step or two sideways) I guess I’ll leave you to it. (exits)
(Shepherds enter from side opposite innkeeper side)
Shepherd 1: Bored, bored, and bored.
Shepherd 2: I don’t know. One night with nothing going on and you’re bored. It’s been the first peaceful night we’ve had in a month, don’t knock it. I for one am grateful of the rest.
Shepherd 1: That’s because you’re old and boring.
Shepherd 2: I’ll give you old and boring you cheeky moo. (chasing Shepherd 1)
Shepherd 1: Can’t catch me.
Shepherd 2: Wanna bet...(Shepherd 2 stops running after Shepherd 1 when he is distracted by a bright light (optional) and just stares up into the sky)
Shepherd 1: See? You can’t even run for 5 minutes without losing your breath.
Shepherd 2: Don’t be so cheeky and come and look at this.
Shepherd 1: (goes over to shepherd 2 and looks up at the sky) Oh my gosh, wwwwwhhhat is it.
Shepherd 2: I have no idea.
Shepherd 1: I’m not hanging around here waiting to find out (starts to run off but is grabbed by shepherd 2)
Shepherd 2: You’re not going anywhere. Stay calm and lets just wait a minute, see what happens.
(Angel enters from side opposite innkeeper side)
Angel: Greetings, please don’t be afraid, I have good news for you.
Shepherd 1: What? That you’re leaving?
Angel: Yes, after I’ve told you the news. A baby has been born in Bethlehem, a Saviour. Christ the Lord.
Shepherd 2: Aw how sweet, but why you telling us.
Angel: Beginning to ask myself the same question. I thought you might fancy visiting him. You know, go and worship him. After all he has come to save you.
Shepherd 1: I spose we could. I mean there isn’t anything happening out here.
Angel: (sarcastically) Such excitement , don’t hold back will you. I’ll be going then, let you get on with it. Just find a baby in a manger. (exits)
Shepherd 2: I’d suppose we’d better get going, now you’ve told him we will. Come on. (all exit side from whence they entered)
(after short pause, shepherds re-enter, same side)
Shepherd 1: This can’t be it.
Innkeeper: (enters few steps in from innkeeper side) Oi, what are you blokes doing here?
Shepherd 2: An angel said a Saviour, Christ the Lord, would be born in a barn, and for us to go see him.
Innkeeper: Well, there is a man and his wife in my barn, and she is about to have a baby.
(all exit innkeeper side)
(Innkeeper and Innkeeper's wife enter from innkeeper side, go to center stage)
Innkeeper: I don’t believe it, who would of thought.
Innkeepers Wife: Who would have thought what dear?
Innkeeper: That the Saviour of the world would be born here, in our barn of all places.
Innkeepers Wife: Yeah who would of thought?
Innkeeper: A full inn and a full barn as well. Unbelievable.
Innkeepers Wife: Yeah, and the most unbelievable thing was you never got any of that bucket load of money you said someone might pay for staying in the barn.
Innkeeper: That’s true I didn’t. How could I make them pay for such a birth? But I did get something more important than a bucket load of money.
Innkeepers Wife: More important than money to you, this I’ve got to hear. So come on, what did you get?
Innkeeper: The privilege and honour of being one of the first people to see and meet the Saviour of the world, to bow down and worship him and know that he was sent to save me, us. That is one special child who’s got a lot on his shoulders.
Innkeepers Wife: You’re right. That is special and worth much more than a bucket load of money. Let's go see if they need anything.(wife exits innkeeper side- Innkeeper stays for a minute, pondering to himself)
Innkeeper: (after a moment) Unbelievable. (exits innkeeper side)
© Copyright Jeannette Walters, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.