Summary: This light-hearted, humorous sketch was written for an all-age service about the Bible.
Style: Light-hearted Duration: 5 minutes
Actors: 2 M/F
Scripture reference: Psalm 119, 2 Tim 3:16
Setting: a bookshop
Customer: Good morning. I’m looking for a book.
Shopkeeper: You’ve come to the right place. This is a bookshop.
Shopkeeper: So, what exactly are you looking for then?
Customer: I’m not really sure. I want a number one bestseller.
Shopkeeper: We have (name of a well-known bestselling pulp-fiction novel with no redeeming qualities).
Customer: Er… no… thank you. I’d like an international number one best seller by a great author.
Shopkeeper: Ah, we have all the greats here – Austen, Dickens, Dostoevsky, Proust, Steinbeck, Tolkein, Enid Blyton, JK Rowling…
Customer: Yes. Yes. But which one is the greatest?
Shopkeeper: That all depends on what you’re looking for in your book.
Customer: Oh that’s easy, I want a gripping story.
Shopkeeper: Each one of these authors does write gripping stories – Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Oliver Twist...
Customer: And I am partial to a bit of poetry.
Shopkeeper: Poetry? A gripping story and poetry? Hmmm… Of course! Homer’s Iliad – a true classic.
Customer: Homer Simpson?!
Shopkeeper: No. Homer, the Greek poet. The Iliad is one of his epic poems.
Customer: So it’s just a poem then?
Customer: But I don’t want that. I want a gripping story with some poetry in it.
Shopkeeper: Oh. A story with some poetry. How about Winnie the Pooh?
Customer: Winnie the Pooh?
Shopkeeper: Yes. Well, strictly speaking they’re not poems, they’re more like rhymes… or hums, as Pooh puts it. But it is a classic and an all-time bestseller, translated into over 50 languages. It ticks all your boxes.
Customer: And does it really get to the heart of what it means to be human?
Shopkeeper: I’m sorry?
Customer: Does it explain the human condition?
Shopkeeper: You... er… didn’t actually specify that.
Customer: Didn’t I? That is very important to me.
Shopkeeper: Of course.
Customer: And it has to be a book that dramatically changes people's lives.
Shopkeeper: OK. Let’s get this straight. You want an international best seller, written by a great author, with a gripping story and some poetry, which explains the human condition and dramatically changes people’s lives?
Shopkeeper: I’m really sorry. I just don’t think such a book could possibly exist.
© Copyright Daniel Carlson, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.