Style: Light-hearted. Duration: 12min
Scripture: Matthew 21, Mark 11
JOHN: Disciple – smart, organised, conscientious, bit stressed – wearing a coat with clipboard and pen.
MATT: Disciple - Matthew – fashionable, casual, cool, designer clothes with ipod & earphones.
JESUS: Himself - no coat.
MR COATES: Owner of the donkey. Big personality, rough, aggressive, with a Cockney accent (perhaps Bronx in US terms).
[Enter Jesus, walks from stage left to right and off stage again He is on his way to Jerusalem, he is frowning and looking a bit preoccupied. Enter John consulting his notes on clipboard. Enter Matt catching him up.]
MATT: [Looking worried] Hey John, I want to talk to you [John stops]
JOHN: What’s up Matt?
MATT: That’s Jerusalem up ahead, isn’t it [he points across the stage]
JOHN: Yes. What d’you want to talk about?
MATT: Why does Jesus keep talking about dying? Last time we were coming along this very road, Jesus was saying he’d be betrayed, captured and killed!
JOHN: I remember. Yeah, though don’t forget about the best bit – he said he’d rise again.
MATT: I know he said that, but when you’re dead you’re dead, man.
JOHN: Well…you know Jesus, the normal rules don’t apply with him. Anything’s possible.
MATT: I’m scared man. You don’t suppose what he said will happen when we get to Jerusalem do you?
[Jesus enters stage from the right coming towards them]
JOHN: [noticing Jesus] Keep it down, Matt. Jesus is coming this way.
JESUS: Hi guys.
MATT: Hi Jesus.
JOHN: Hello, Lord.
JESUS: Boys, I need you to do something for me.
MATT & JOHN: [together] Anything.
JESUS: I want you to get me a colt (pronounced cowt – with silent letter L, but still sounding like the word colt)
JESUS: I’ll give you the details, John.
[Matt turns on the music on his ipod and moving away from the others bops and sings along to it]
JOHN: [gets his clipboard and pen and writes on it] Get a colt. OK. Where from?
JESUS: Do you see that village up ahead, over the next two hills?
JOHN: [writing it down] Village, over two hills, right.
JESUS Just as you enter, turn right.
JOHN: Enter the village, on the right.
JESUS: Turn right.
JOHN: Sorry, turn right. [Prods Matt whose singing is disturbing his concentration] Matt. Keep it down, I’m trying to concentrate.
MATT: Oh, sorry [continues to listen silently to ipod – not distracting the audience]
JESUS: Go down the road for a bit and you’ll see the colt tied up on the left.
JOHN: What’s a colt?
JESUS: A young donkey.
JOHN: How do you know it’ll be there? [he look at Jesus, who smiles knowingly] Sorry. [John prods Matt again] You have to listen, too!
MATT: [he takes ipod earphones off] Cool, shoot!
JOHN: [reads back the instructions from his paper] Get to the village over two hills, turn right, go along for a bit, find the colt on the left.
JESUS: Untie it and bring it to me. If anyone asks you why you are taking it, tell them the Lord needs it.
JOHN: Yes, Lord. [to Matt] Did you get all that Matt?
MATT: [nodding] Sure man…tell them the Lord needs it.
JESUS: [whispers to John] Keep Matt out of mischief.
JOHN: Will do. So you’ll catch us up then?
JESUS: Yes, then we can go into Jerusalem together. [They part, waving goodbye. Jesus exits to the left, John and Matt
walk slowly, then turn and walk back, then turn again]
MATT: Why does Jesus want us to get him a coat?
JOHN: [oblivious that Matt said coat, not colt] I don’t know, but it is obviously an important job. [Matt and John exit L]
[Stage hands puts on R of stage a donkey with string tying it to a post/hat stand and a coat hanging on the post]
[Enter Matt and John]
JOHN: [He consults his instructions] Right, we’ve been over two hills, turned right, the road must be here. It should be somewhere here on the left.
MATT: [feigns surprise at seeing them suddenly appear] Ooh look. There it is. Hey John …what if someone thinks we are stealing it?
JOHN: It’ll be fine. Come on. [He reaches for the string to untie the colt.]
MATT: [Matt steps in front of him and stops him, taking hold of the string] What you doin’?
JOHN: Getting the colt [grabs the string off Matt]
MATT: Jesus said coat man. This is the coat [he holds up the coat]
JOHN: No, he didn’t. He said colt - a young donkey [They start to argue about it, getting louder and louder, almost coming to a punch up. Enter Mr Coates, unseen by Matt and John. He stands nearby, arms folded, watching fascinated. Matt and John take hold of the colt and coat again]
MR COATES: Oy you two! [Matt and John stop arguing and look at him] What d’you think your’ doing with my Mary? [Matt and John look puzzled] Mary – my donkey….and my coat? [Matt steps up in front of Mr Coates hands on hips trying to stand up to him]
MR COATES: [peering down at Matt] I’ve got a black belt in judo if you’re thinking of any funny business.
JOHN: [He pushes Matt away from Mr Coates, takes the coat from Matt and puts it back] It’s all right Matt. Sorry Mr…?
MR COATES: Mr Coates [Matt and John start to giggle about his name, Ad lib: saying coats, colts, good name for him etc] Oy! What you two laughing at? Something funny?
MATT Nothing man. We just came for the…
JOHN: [interrupting] ..for the colt.
MR COATES: Who do you think you are? Coming here stealing my animal! What makes you think I’m gonna let you have it? Yeah, well, I think I will let you have it! [ie beat you up. He approaches the disciples fists raised aggressively. They back away] Anyway, why do you want it?
MATT: Er, er [in a moment of inspiration he suddenly remembers what Jesus said] The Lord needs it.
MR COATES: [he drops his fists and puts his hands out to shake hands with them] Oh, why didn’t you say so in the first place. If Jesus needs it he can have it.
JOHN: [relieved] Oh thanks Matt, I’m glad you remembered what to say.
MR COATES: [he hands to colt to John] Give Jesus my regards.
MATT: [reaches up for the coat] Hey man, mind if I take this, too?
JOHN: What you doing, Matt?
MATT: In case Jesus did say coat. It would be embarrassing if you were wrong John.
MR COATES: You want the coat, too? Here, take it. It’s only an old one. It’s a bit smelly though. [he gives it to Matt, and Matt smells it and grimaces] I throw it over Mary when I ride her. It keeps me from getting all itchy underneath.
MATT: What a good idea! [Matt throws the coat over the colt, then wipes his hands on his trousers to get rid of the smell].I’ll throw mine over, too [He takes his coat off and does. They set off slowly walking with the colt towards L stage. Matt turns back and shouts to Mr Coates] Bye, Mr Colts
MR COATES: [shouts] Mr Coates! [muttering] People are always mixing me up with Mr Colts. [He exits R]
[Matt puts his ipod on again and starts bopping. John and he stop walking]
JOHN: What you listening to?
MATT: Little donkey. D’you know the song man? Wanna to listen? [he offers his earpiece]
JOHN: No. You can sing it to me if you like.
MATT: Okay. [sings song Little Donkey] Little donkey, little donkey on a dusty road, little donkey, she called Mary safely with her load.
JESUS: [enters from L] Thanks lads. I hope you didn’t have any trouble [they look at each other and the audience, shrug and shake their heads innocently] I see you’ve put a coat over the donkey for me. What a great idea.
MATT: [to John] I told you so – he wanted the coat.
JOHN: Here, have mine too [throws his coat over the colt]
JESUS: Come on everybody, let’s get going to Jerusalem. [He gets on the donkey]
MATT: [Has a look of dread. To John] This is it, John. I can sense it. The is the beginning of the end for Jesus.
[They all freeze].
© Copyright Pam Norman 2010, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.