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Summary: A humorous take on the feeding of the 5000 as seen through the eyes of a disgruntled burger vendor. Keywords: Miracles, feeding of the 5000.
Style: Lighthearted. Duration: 5min
Actors: 1M
Scripture reference: Matt 14:13-21; Mark 6:30-44; Luke 9:10-17; John 6:1-13

Characters
Abby (a burger vendor)

Script

(Setting: a burger van on a mountainside in a remote setting. The attendant looks around, bored. Picks up mobile phone and dials a friend.)

(shouting) Hello. It’s Abby… Abby – from McAbby’s, home of the Big Mac. … Yeah, it’s the reception on this phone. I’m out in the middle of nowhere. …

What? … No, of course I haven’t just come out here for the fun of it. I’m still doing the Carpenter’s Tour. … No, not them. The Carpenter from Nazareth who’s taken to doing “Preaching and Miracles” shows. …

(excited) Yeah, he draws in the crowds like nobody’s business – there must be over 5000 here today. … Well, yeah, usually it is a big money-spinner. Thousands of people out all day watching the show – they eventually get hungry. … What’s that? How much have I made? Well, that’s just the point. I don’t quite get it. …

(defensive, embarrassed) Well, you see, I got here a bit late. As I said, it’s miles from anywhere and it’s a rough old road. I broke a spoke on my van. Anyway, when I arrived, everybody seemed to be eating already. I thought Rabbi Saunders and his Galilee Fried Chicken must have got here before me, but there was no sign of his van. …

Well, no, I’m still not quite sure. I asked someone and they said this young boy had brought some along. … No. That’s the funny thing. they said he only brought 5 loaves of bread and two fish. … Well, obviously that wouldn’t have been enough to go round… But this is the weird thing. He gave them to this carpenter bloke who started giving them out to everyone… Yeah, everyone. And apparently there was enough for them all to eat. …

(shirty) Quite. I don’t mind him doing the preaching and miracles stuff, but now he’s trying to take over my business. … Too right. It’s unlicensed upstarts like him that are going to put me out of work. … Well, I don’t know. All I know is that it leaves me in a right mess. … No. I can’t even give them away. They’ve eaten so much, there’s even leftovers – I’ve counted 12 baskets full…

Well, that’s why I thought of ringing you, see… Your nephew’s got his bar mitzvah coming up, hasn’t he? … Yeah. Well, I was wondering whether you’d need a caterer. I know it’s not particularly orthodox, but… About 1000 buns and the same amount of burgers. … Well, couldn’t you invite a few more people? … No? (sarcastic) Oh, well, thanks anyway. … Guess I’ll just have to try someone else.
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© Copyright Daniel Carlson, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.