| That Makes Me Cross |
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| Written by Ray Markham | |
| Thursday, 02 August 2007 21:22 | |
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Style: Lighthearted. Duration: 4min Characters Script 1: [enters, singing] Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns! [#2 enters during the last line] 2: [puzzled] What are you doing? 1: I’m singing; what do you think I’m doing? [sings] Hot cross buns! Hot cross … 2: [interrupting] Stop it, stop it! That makes me really cross! 1: I didn’t think my singing was that bad! 2: [indignantly] No, no! Not your singing! [Aside to audience] Though I must admit it was pretty bad! 1: [puzzled] Well, if it isn’t my singing that makes you really cross, what is it that makes you really cross? 2: [angrily] Hot cross buns! That’s what makes me really cross! 1: [puzzled] Hot cross buns make you really cross? They don’t make me really cross … I’m too busy eating them! 2: [sarcastically] Now why doesn’t that surprise me? [Slight pause] 1: Well … are you going to tell me then? 2: Tell you what? 1: [annoyed] Why hot cross buns make you cross! 2: There’s no need to get cross! 1: [irritated] Well, what do you expect? I’m still waiting to hear why hot cross buns make you cross .. and so are the audience out there … aren’t you? 2: OK … I’ll tell you why hot cross buns make me cross! 1: [sarcastically] At last! 2: It’s all because of the cross. 1: [puzzled] The cross? What cross? 2: Exactly! The cross they put on the bun isn’t a proper cross at all most of the time! 1: [puzzled] What do you mean? 2: Well, the cross on the bun is supposed to remind us of the cross Jesus died on … but the piece where the arms go is about half-way down the cross! 1: Oh, I see now! That would mean your arms would have to be sticking out of your side and not on your shoulders to be crucified on a cross that shape! 2: That’s right! And since it’s called a hot cross bun because of the cross shape on it, you think they’d get it right, and put the bit for the arms higher up, wouldn’t you? 1: I suppose … [makes slurping sound] … but it still tastes the same, doesn’t it! 2: I just wonder how many people stuffing a hot cross bun into their mouths like you stop to think about why Jesus died on the cross. 1: Was there a reason, then? 2: Oh yes! Jesus was taking the punishment for all the wrong things we do, so that we can be forgiven. That’s how much God loves us. 1: Wow! [Slight pause] You know, I’ve just had a thought! 2: [suspiciously] Is this another of your jokes? 1: Not this time, no! I was just thinking … if you look at one of those buns that doesn’t have the right shape for the cross … and you turn it sideways … it looks like a kiss! 2: [indignantly] I thought you said this wasn’t a joke! 1: It’s not, honestly! I just thought that a kiss on the bun was a good way of reminding us of God’s love for us in sending Jesus to die on the cross … that’s all. 2: That’s excellent! So, whatever kind of cross you get on your bun, you’re being reminded of how much God loves you! 1: So you don’t need to get cross any more! 2: You’re right there! [Slight pause] 1: You know … all this talk about hot cross buns has made me feel very hungry! Let’s go and scoff some! [Exit] 2: See you later, everybody! [Exit] .................................................................................... © 2004 Ray Markham , all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
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