Snake:(hisses throughout) Ssss so. I’m ss so crafty. Ssss superior too. Sss so superior. Ssss smashing.
Eve: Hello snake.
Snake: Missster Snake to you. In fact Ssss Sir Snake would be more apt. Much better for a sss superior sss serpent, I’d ss say.
Eve: Fine. As I was saying…
Eve: It really is an ideal sort of place here. A real Garden of Eden.
Snake: That'ss because it is the Garden of Eden, woman.
Eve: Silly me.
Snake: Ssss silly you.
Eve: And apart from one little rule we can do just what we like.
Snake: Rule? A sss silly little rule? Ssss surely not.
Eve: It’s nothing much. Just that God said we could eat fruit from any tree except that one in the middle.
Snake: Ssss surely not. How ss silly. Why would he ss say that?
Eve: Because he said we’d die.
Snake: How absssssurd. I’m sure he didn’t sssay that. If you do eat from that tree it’s more likely you’ll have a mind-expanding experience. You’ll be like God himself. You’ll be able to know all things. You’ll be incredibly wissse.
Eve: Well it does look good. I bet it tastes good. And you say it’ll make me wise as well?
Snake: Of courssse.
Eve: Well, it can’t harm, I suppose (Eats) Mmmm. (Adam enters) Here, hubby, try some of this.
Adam: (Eats) Mmm.
Eve: (To snake) See what you mean about a mind expanding experience. It does open a whole new world of…insight and..inspiration…and knowledge … and needlework.
Eve: Yes…needlework. I really have got to do something about your lack of trousers.
Adam: (Looks down) Oh I see what you mean. (They both start stitching fig leaves)
Voice of God: Adam, where are you?
Adam: Err, ah, sorry, Lord. Over here. Just attending to a little household task. Bit of a needlework emergency. After all, I didn’t really want to meet up with you in my birthday suit, as it were.
God: Birthday suit? Who told you you were in the buff? Have you been doing something I told you not to?
Adam: Well no…not really. It was Eve. She gave me some of the fruit from the tree and I…I ate it.
Eve: Well, to be honest I was hardly to blame. It was the snake. It kind of deceived me and I was tricked into eating it.
Snake: Typical! Ssss so typical.
(This action freezes)
Teenager: (Jumping up from front row) Oh, for goodness sake. This Bible stuff is just so irrelevant. What is all this nonsense about Adam and Eve and the snake? It’s absolute pants!
Dad: (Jumps up): Will you sit down! It might be irrelevant but at least it’s a break from you and what’s happening at home.
Teenager: Oh great! Bring it up again, why don’t you? You’re just so embarrassing. I hate you!
Mum: (Rising) Love, don’t lose your temper with dad. I mean, it wasn’t his fault you were caught shoplifting, was it?
Teenager: Oh, go on. Embarrass me some more in front of all these people. Anyway it wasn’t my fault.
Dad: How do you work that one out?
Teenager: It was Evie. She dared me. She said everyone does it. It’s dead easy.
Mum: Doesn’t make it right.
Teenager: Anyway, it’s Woolies’ fault.
Dad: How do you work that one out?
Teenager: They leave everything right there on the counter so open. It’s just a temptation. They make it dead easy. Anyway if you two stingy wrinklies gave me more pocket money I wouldn’t need to nick stuff. I could buy it. So it’s really your fault.
Mum: So far it’s our fault, it’s Evie’s fault and it’s Woolies fault. Did you have anything to do with it at all?
Narrator: (At front with the action from before): So the Lord
banished them from the
Garden of Eden.
© Andy Lund
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: email@example.com