By Andy Lund
Two quick skits on the importance of the Bible - and ways to misuse it.
Driver
Passenger
Driver: Where are we?
Passenger: I don’t know. It’s all Greek to me.
Driver: Try using the map book.
Passenger: I was but it’s all in some kind of code.
Driver: How do you mean?
Passenger: Well it says: X3 553. What the heck’s that? Some sort of Maths problem?
Driver: Show me.
Passenger: Look X3553
Driver: You idiot. You’ve got the map book upside down. It says Essex.
Passenger: I knew that. Just shows what a waste of time map books are. We were doing all right without it. Didn’t need it to prove we were in X3553.
Driver: Essex. And it might have helped if we had known.
Passenger: Why?
Driver: ‘Cos we wanted to go to Devon.
Passenger: Well, it’s all the same, isn’t it?
Driver: Oh yeah. Except one’s east of Salisbury and the other’s west.
Passenger: Meaning?
Driver: In opposite directions.
Passenger: Fine. I knew that. In fact when it comes down to it, I know a lot. I don’t need a silly map book. (Tears it up)
Driver: That helps.
Passenger: Yeah, well who cares?. It’s just like that other thing you’ve got in here.
Driver: What?
Passenger: This Highwayman’s Code. What code’s that-another X3553 for Dick Turpin or something.
Driver: No, you fool! It’s the Highway Code. Not the Highwayman’s code. It tells you the rules of the road.
Passenger: Yeah, well who needs it? It’s all common sense really. Let’s have a look. (Leafs through) "Drive on the left-hand side of the road". What a joke! It’s just so restricting. Who are they to tell us what to do when? We can do what we like. It’s a free country. We’ll drive on the right.
Driver: No, it says left.
Passenger: You stick in the mud. Give it a go. Come on, I’ll do it if you like. (Grabs wheel and steers right)
Driver: Neil…
Passenger: (Hesitatingly) er…yes?
Driver: Look in the mirror.
Passenger: Why? Is my hair messed up?
Driver: Look in the mirror.
Passenger: (Peers in mirror) Mandy, is that a code too? P O L 1 C E
Driver: No, Neil, it’s the police. Do you think maybe the book was right after all?
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Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Narrator 1: You know, I’m feeling quite depressed at the moment, Mandy.
Narrator 2: I’m sorry to hear that Neil. You know what you really need to do is read the Bible. That always helps I find.
Narrator 1: Good idea. What do you suggest I read. There’s an awful lot of books in there.
Narrator 2: 66 actually.
Narrator 1: Well, there you are. It’s difficult to know which one will help me.
Narrator 2: I suppose it’s best to start at the beginning.
Narrator 1: What in Genesis. Well here goes (Opens book towards beginning) How about this –Genesis Chapter 30 verse 14. " During wheat harvest Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants which he brought to his mother Leah" Mm- I don’t know if that’s going to help me a lot.
Narrator 2: Well-the thing is – you have to meditate on it a lot. Really think about it.
Narrator 1: (Thinking hard) Err- it’s no good, Mandy. I keep thinking ‘What is a mandrake?’ Do you know?
Narrator 2: Err, well actually, - no. Perhaps you should try the New Testament. You know, starting from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
Narrator 1: Right. What do you suggest?
Narrator 2: Oh, I don’t know –just open the page at random. See what you are led to.
Narrator 1: (Cautiously) Well I don’t know. All right here goes. Matthew chapter 27 verse 5. "Judas went away and hanged himself." That’s not terribly helpful. In fact it’s making me feel more depressed.
Narrator 2: Yes, but you really have to think deeply about it. Let’s write it down so you can. (Writes it down on OHP). Anyway it might only be part of God’s encouragement for you. Flip the Bible open at another page and see what you get.
Narrator 1: Well I don’t know. I’m not sure this is how you should read the Bible.
Narrator 2: It can’t be wrong. It is the Bible, after all.
Narrator 1: OK. Here goes. I’ll read it, you write it. Luke chapter 10 verse 37. " Jesus told him ‘ Go and do the same’" (Narrator 2 writes it down)
Narrator 2: Right – let’s see what God is telling you for your depression. (Reads it out)
Narrator 1: Great!
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© Andy Lund, Durrington Christian Fellowship
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: andrew.lund@ntlworld.com