Just Testing

By John & Joanne Miller


A young couple have their future neatly planned out only to discover a baby, who was not planned for, is on the way.


Rick Ė young husband, just home from work.
Lisa -   young wife, has been ill for a short time.


(Rick is onstage reading a newspaper as lights come up.  Phone rings.)

Rick: Hello.  No, Iím sorry, sheís not home from work yet.  This is Dr. Martinís office calling?  Yes, this is Mr. Calder, you can give me her  test results, Iíll let her know.  What is it?  (Said as if he did not understand the diagnosis)  Dyspepsia?  What does that mean?  Oh, I see.  So she should stay away from spicy foods.  Youíre going to send a list of foods to avoid?  O.K.  Thatíll be good.  She does love hot peppers.  I suppose thatís a no, no.   Yes, Iíll tell her.  Thanks for calling.  Pardon me?  Well, no, Iím not sitting down.  Why?  All right.  Iím sitting down now.  You have some more results to give me, blood test results?  O.K.   Go ahead.  What????  Are you sure?  Donít you need to do further tests for something like that?  What about a second opinion?  Yes, I see, I see.  Well, what do you suggest from here?  How long does she have?  8 months??  But that canít be!  Weíve been planning to take a trip out west in 2 years and I wanted to surprise her with a trip to Jamaica for our 5 year anniversary.  Weíve had our whole lives ahead of us.  How can this be?    Yes, yes I understand.  I know itís not your fault and I suppose there isnít much you can do about it.  No, no Iíll tell her.  Of course itís not going to be easy.  Iíll have her call your office tomorrow.  Thank you.  Bye.

(Lisa enters after Rick (obviously in shock) hangs up the phone.)

Lisa:  Hi, honey.  How was your day?

Rick: (trying to sound casual).  Good, how are you feeling, honey? (Very concerned)

Lisa: Better, but still not great.  Was there a message from the doctorís office on the answering machine?

Rick:  No, no message.

Lisa: Thatís funny.  They told me theyíd call for sure today with my results.  Iíd better give them a call and find out whatís up.  (She walks towards phone)

Rick:  Sweetheart, before you do that I want to talk to you about something.

 Lisa:  Canít it wait a second.  This wonít take long.

Rick: (Taking her hands and gently guiding her to the couch) No, babe, it canít wait.  This is really important.

Lisa:  O.K.  What is it?

Rick:  You know that trip weíve been talking about taking out west?

Lisa:  Yes.

Rick: I want us to take it.  Right away.  I want to leave tomorrow morning.  Early.  Weíll just throw some clothes and our tent in the car and go.  We wonít even plan where weíre going to go, weíll just take off, just the two of us and head towards the Grand Canyon.  What do you say?

Lisa:  We canít do that.

Rick:  Why not, whatís to stop us?

Lisa:  Our jobs, for one thing.

Rick: Lisa, life is too short to worry about things like that all the time.  You can call Sherry right now and tell her you wonít be there for a few weeks, and Iíll call Tom and let him know too.  Itíll just be our adventure, something wild and crazy.  How about it?

Lisa: But, Rick, I have a new client coming tomorrow morning.  Iíve been trying to get this account for six months; I canít just not be there.  Besides Iím not sure Iím feeling up to a trip like that right now.

Rick: Sherry can handle the new account and Iíll bet youíll feel great once youíre away from all the stress of work.  Just this once, babe, letís do something spontaneous.

Lisa:  What has gotten into you, Rick?  Why this hurry?

Rick: I just want us to have this time together.  I want to be with you, just you.  No phones, no clients, no interruptions.

Lisa: And where do you suggest we get the money from for this extended vacation?

Rick:  Iíve been saving for a getaway.  Iíve got enough so we can do this.

Lisa: Well, let me call Sherry and see what she says, but Iím not guaranteeing sheíll say yes.  First, though, I want to see what the doctor has to say.  (She begins to dial)

Rick: Lisa, (he gently removes the phone from her hand and puts it down) the doctorís office already called.

Lisa:  I thought you said there was no message from them.

Rick:  I did.  There wasnít a message.  I talked to them.

Lisa:  Well, what did they say?

Rick: They said you have a digestion problem, and you need to stay away from spicy foods.

Lisa:  As if I didnít know that.  Is that all they said?

Rick:  They said theyíd be sending you a list of foods to avoid.

Lisa:  Thatís it?  What about the fatigue?

Rick:  They said your blood test showed something on that.

Lisa:  Are you going to make me guess what it showed?

Rick:  Lisa, I donít know how to tell you this.

Lisa:  Just spit it out, Rick, I can take it.  Iím a big girl now.

Rick:  O.K.  You have morning sickness.

Lisa:  What!!! That canít be!

Rick:  Thatís what I thought.

Lisa: But weíve got so much planned.  And Iím so busy at work!  I donít have time to be pregnant.  And I certainly donít have time to take care of a baby.  Babies are a lot of work.

Rick:  Thatís what I thought.

Lisa: Well, Iíll tell you one thing.  This is not going to change anything.  Weíll just live our lives as we planned, no changes in our routines, and the baby will just have to get used to it!

Rick:  Thatís not what I thought.


Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: NIJWMiller@aol.com.