Just Testing

By John & Joanne Miller

Summary

A young couple have their future neatly planned out only to discover a baby, who was not planned for, is on the way.

Characters

Rick – young husband, just home from work.
Lisa -   young wife, has been ill for a short time.

Script

(Rick is onstage reading a newspaper as lights come up.  Phone rings.)

Rick: Hello.  No, I’m sorry, she’s not home from work yet.  This is Dr. Martin’s office calling?  Yes, this is Mr. Calder, you can give me her  test results, I’ll let her know.  What is it?  (Said as if he did not understand the diagnosis)  Dyspepsia?  What does that mean?  Oh, I see.  So she should stay away from spicy foods.  You’re going to send a list of foods to avoid?  O.K.  That’ll be good.  She does love hot peppers.  I suppose that’s a no, no.   Yes, I’ll tell her.  Thanks for calling.  Pardon me?  Well, no, I’m not sitting down.  Why?  All right.  I’m sitting down now.  You have some more results to give me, blood test results?  O.K.   Go ahead.  What????  Are you sure?  Don’t you need to do further tests for something like that?  What about a second opinion?  Yes, I see, I see.  Well, what do you suggest from here?  How long does she have?  8 months??  But that can’t be!  We’ve been planning to take a trip out west in 2 years and I wanted to surprise her with a trip to Jamaica for our 5 year anniversary.  We’ve had our whole lives ahead of us.  How can this be?    Yes, yes I understand.  I know it’s not your fault and I suppose there isn’t much you can do about it.  No, no I’ll tell her.  Of course it’s not going to be easy.  I’ll have her call your office tomorrow.  Thank you.  Bye.

(Lisa enters after Rick (obviously in shock) hangs up the phone.)

Lisa:  Hi, honey.  How was your day?

Rick: (trying to sound casual).  Good, how are you feeling, honey? (Very concerned)

Lisa: Better, but still not great.  Was there a message from the doctor’s office on the answering machine?

Rick:  No, no message.

Lisa: That’s funny.  They told me they’d call for sure today with my results.  I’d better give them a call and find out what’s up.  (She walks towards phone)

Rick:  Sweetheart, before you do that I want to talk to you about something.

 Lisa:  Can’t it wait a second.  This won’t take long.

Rick: (Taking her hands and gently guiding her to the couch) No, babe, it can’t wait.  This is really important.

Lisa:  O.K.  What is it?

Rick:  You know that trip we’ve been talking about taking out west?

Lisa:  Yes.

Rick: I want us to take it.  Right away.  I want to leave tomorrow morning.  Early.  We’ll just throw some clothes and our tent in the car and go.  We won’t even plan where we’re going to go, we’ll just take off, just the two of us and head towards the Grand Canyon.  What do you say?

Lisa:  We can’t do that.

Rick:  Why not, what’s to stop us?

Lisa:  Our jobs, for one thing.

Rick: Lisa, life is too short to worry about things like that all the time.  You can call Sherry right now and tell her you won’t be there for a few weeks, and I’ll call Tom and let him know too.  It’ll just be our adventure, something wild and crazy.  How about it?

Lisa: But, Rick, I have a new client coming tomorrow morning.  I’ve been trying to get this account for six months; I can’t just not be there.  Besides I’m not sure I’m feeling up to a trip like that right now.

Rick: Sherry can handle the new account and I’ll bet you’ll feel great once you’re away from all the stress of work.  Just this once, babe, let’s do something spontaneous.

Lisa:  What has gotten into you, Rick?  Why this hurry?

Rick: I just want us to have this time together.  I want to be with you, just you.  No phones, no clients, no interruptions.

Lisa: And where do you suggest we get the money from for this extended vacation?

Rick:  I’ve been saving for a getaway.  I’ve got enough so we can do this.

Lisa: Well, let me call Sherry and see what she says, but I’m not guaranteeing she’ll say yes.  First, though, I want to see what the doctor has to say.  (She begins to dial)

Rick: Lisa, (he gently removes the phone from her hand and puts it down) the doctor’s office already called.

Lisa:  I thought you said there was no message from them.

Rick:  I did.  There wasn’t a message.  I talked to them.

Lisa:  Well, what did they say?

Rick: They said you have a digestion problem, and you need to stay away from spicy foods.

Lisa:  As if I didn’t know that.  Is that all they said?

Rick:  They said they’d be sending you a list of foods to avoid.

Lisa:  That’s it?  What about the fatigue?

Rick:  They said your blood test showed something on that.

Lisa:  Are you going to make me guess what it showed?

Rick:  Lisa, I don’t know how to tell you this.

Lisa:  Just spit it out, Rick, I can take it.  I’m a big girl now.

Rick:  O.K.  You have morning sickness.

Lisa:  What!!! That can’t be!

Rick:  That’s what I thought.

Lisa: But we’ve got so much planned.  And I’m so busy at work!  I don’t have time to be pregnant.  And I certainly don’t have time to take care of a baby.  Babies are a lot of work.

Rick:  That’s what I thought.

Lisa: Well, I’ll tell you one thing.  This is not going to change anything.  We’ll just live our lives as we planned, no changes in our routines, and the baby will just have to get used to it!

Rick:  That’s not what I thought.

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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: NIJWMiller@aol.com.