Thanksgiving Nic-Nacs

By Glenn A. Hascall


Several characters used for decoration at Thanksgiving are finding themselves very ungrateful for their place in life. In a humorous way they learn that they have much to re-learn about being grateful. Suitable for either live cast or puppets.


INDIAN # 1, 
INDIAN # 2, 


A cardboard box – possibly refrigerator – with large, crudely written “Thanksgiving nic-nacs” on the side facing the audience. It may work best to have the box on a side of the stage where cast can enter through the box without being seen.


MRS. PILGRIM: (Walks on stage from box) I can’t believe how cramped it is in that box.
MR. PILGRIM: (Walks out rubbing neck along with remaining cast) Talk about a pain in the neck.
INDIAN # 1: And the lady’s so particular about packing. It’s a wonder we could breath.
INDIAN # 2: We should be able to sue for mistreatment.
PILGRIM LEADER: Settle down, we should be thankful we’re being remembered once again.
PUMPKIN: You HAVE to say that – you’re our leader. The only colors we see are brown, yellow and orange. Just once I’d like to see green.
MRS. PILGRIM: Does jello salad count? I don’t remember making a mint green salad that first Thanksgiving (everyone chuckles).
PUMPKIN: (Said without humor) Ha – Ha – You are so funny...
INDIAN # 1: I don’t know whether you are aware of it or not – but YOU ARE ORANGE?
PUMPKIN: I am? No wonder I get put away until Thanksgiving. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a Kiwi fruit. To live in the days of fun and sun doing whatever it is that Kiwis do.
INDIAN # 2: This really is worse than being a toy. At least they get to be played with more than once a year.
MR. PILGRIM: While we sit in a box gathering dust.
MRS. PILGRIM: It is so unfair.
PILGRIM LEADER: Have we so quickly forgotten what Thanksgiving is all about?
MRS. PILGRIM: Sure, it’s an excuse for people to get together and eat more than they should.
INDIAN # 1: Then fall asleep watching football.
INDIAN # 2: Forgetting all about us.
PUMPKIN: (Upset) Eating my relatives.
MR. PILGRIM: Then they get upset because, no matter how hard they try to be grateful…
MRS. PILGRIM: There’s always the day after Thanksgiving sales and the dads are left home with the kids.
PUMPKIN: And we are utterly forgotten.
INDIAN # 1: Completely...
INDIAN # 2: Absolutely...
MRS: PILGRIM:  Totally...
PUMPKIN: Entirely...
MR. PILGRIM: Without fail.
PUMKIN: I didn’t even get a Christmas card last year – or an apology for the mistreatment of my fellow pumpkins.
BOB: (Off Stage. Once the actors hear his voice they quickly walk back into the box) This is going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving. While Carla is off getting the fixin’s for our Thanksgiving feast, I think I’ll work at getting out the trimmings here at home. It’s so nice that the kids can come home for the holiday. The house seems so alive when they’re here. And Carla does have a way of making the place feel homey and comfortable.
(Phone rings)
BOB: (Picks phone up) Hello (Pause) Oh, hi Shelly. How’s my eldest daughter? (Pause) No, she’s not here right now, she’ll be back pretty soon. (Pause) All right, what bit of news will make my day? (Pause) Really? (Excitedly hangs up)
Wow, a baby. This is so wonderful. I’m going to be a grandpa. (Phone rings) Hello. (Pause) Didn’t you just call? (Pause) I did? I just hung up on you? (Pause) I guess I’m a little excited. Oh, Shelly, your mother is going to be beside herself. When is the baby due? I just know she’s going to ask. (Pause) I love you, kiddo and I can’t wait to see you for Thanksgiving. (Pause) Tell Tom hi. Oh, and the baby. (Pause) Yes, I know the baby is still inside, but tell the baby hi anyway. (Pause) See ya Wednesday. (Pause) Is it OK to hang up the phone this time? OK. Bye-bye hun. (Hang phone up) Another reason to be thankful. Oh, I can’t wait to see Carla’s face when I tell her that she is going to be a grandma (Wide smile as he leaves stage).
(Characters again walk out of box)
MRS. PILGRIM: How do you like that, he didn’t even take us out of the box.
MR. PILGRIM: He talked about Thanksgiving, but never mentioned us.
INDIAN # 1: How rude.
INDIAN # 2: There should be a law.
PUMPKIN: Power to the Pumpkin!
PILGRIM LEADER: (UPSET) Weren’t you listening to what he was saying?
PUMPKIN: Uh, no – I guess I was still back on that pumpkin pie thing.
MRS. PILGRIM: What do you mean?
PUMPKIN: I mean that while you guys ate the meal – my relatives were the meal if you know what I mean.
MRS. PILGRIM: No, what does he mean (points to the Pilgrim Leader)
PUMPIN: Oh, never mind.
PILGRIM LEADER: We should be grateful that they remember us at all. Thanksgiving has more to do with being grateful for what God in His generosity has provided than with remembering Pilgrims, Indians and Pumpkins.
PUMPKIN: What are you saying?
PILGRIM LEADER: I’m saying that we could learn a lot from Bob. Thanksgiving is best observed by people who appreciate what God has done for them.
(All characters seem genuinely contrite)
PUMPKIN: So I should be grateful that my ancestors were pie fillers?
PILGRIM LEADER: Perhaps you should be grateful that you are not!
PUMPKIN: (Looks like he’s going to say something – changes his mind, shuts his mouth and then points at the Leader before saying) The nic-nac makes sense.
MRS. PILGRIM: I guess we have been a little ungrateful.
MR. PILGRIM: A little?
MRS. PILGRIM: OK, a lot.
INDIAN # 1: I guess we could be grateful that there aren’t more pieces crammed into that box.
INDIAN # 2: I know I’m grateful for that.
PILGRIM LEADER: (Smiles) You’re getting the idea.
MRS. PILGRIM: I guess I should be grateful that I don’t have to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving looking like this.
MR. PILGRIM: And I can be grateful for such a sensible wife.
PILGRIM LEADER: Isn’t it funny that even we have to re-learn what Thanksgiving is all about?
PUMPKIN: You think that’s funny? You’ve got a weird sense of humor, mister.
BOB: (Off stage) Where is my brain. I forgot about unloading the nic-nac box. (Characters file back into the box as Bob walk out on stage) I guess Shelly’s call made me think of other – more important things. (Looks at the box) You know, I’m not sure that’s spelled right. (Looks around stage) Let’s see, where’s that bag that Carla brought home last night, - let’s see what did she say, (Pretends to talk like Carla) “I just realized we have Pilgrims and Indians, and we have pumpkin and even a cornucopia, but we don’t have a turkey – so I bought one.” (Looks around) Ah, and here it is – although I’m not sure how she’s going to fit it into the box.
BOX CAST: (In unison) Groan…
BOB: (Looks off stage past the box) Is that you Carla? (Walks off stage in that direction)
PUMPKIN: (From inside box) I’m lobbying for my own apartment. Does this place come with comment cards? Could you possibly move your elbow? Ooops, I think I’m bruising. This can’t be good. Haven’t they ever heard of bubble wrap? (Pause)
BOB: (Peaks head onto stage) That’s funny, I thought I heard something. Must have been my imagination. (Looks at the nic nac box) Good night nic nacs. (Leaves stage and shuts off lights)
BOX CAST: Good night, Bob.
(Fade to black)
Copyright 2003 by Glenn A. Hascall
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