Don't Forget Jesus
By Nick Clarke
Summary
A humorous Christmas sketch, in which the toy characters in a typical nativity
scene prepare for this year's display.
Characters
Mary
Joseph
Angel (wearing beard)
Wise Man (carrying gold)
Shepherd
Lamb & Lion
Policeman
Father Christmas
Rudolph
Script
(Mary, Joseph, Angel, Wise Man, Shepherd, Lamb & Lion all enter on
stage in darkness, freeze in typical “nativity formation” around
a manger. As lights come up, they all start yawning and stretching as if
they are just awakening from a long sleep.)
Joseph: Well here we are again, back in the nativity scene.
Mary: Yes hasn’t time gone quickly
Wise Man: It only seems like yesterday we were being packed in bubble
wrap, and put away in the attic, I can hardly believe a whole year has
gone.
Angel: Enough reminiscing. Hadn’t we better do the usual checks for
damage ?….Oh, that’s not right for a start (tries to straighten his bent
halo)
Wise Man: And you look like you need a shave
Angel: That was the little humans idea of a joke last year; he thought
it would be funny to paint a beard on the angel.
Shepherd: And what’s happened to my flock ?…there used to be 2 lambs
in here, and now there’s only one
Lamb: Baaa (sad).
Lion: And me, I’m a replacement for the lost sheep.
Shepherd: Don’t be daft, you’re a lion
Lamb: I don’t want to share a stable with him
Lion: Don’t worry, you won’t be …for long (licking lips)
Lamb: Baaa (worried)
Shepherd: You’ll be OK…this is a Nativity Scene, everything is sweetness
and light.
Joseph: That’s right…”the lamb will lie down with the lion”.
Angel: The Lamb lies down…wasn’t that Genesis?
Wise Man: No, I think it was Isaiah actually.
Shepherd: Well, aren’t you the wise man.
Joseph: So is everyone else. OK, no more damage to report ?
Mary: I’m sure there’s something still missing.
Lamb: (looking at Wise Man) I know I’m not the brightest here, and
I hate to point out the obvious, but aren’t there meant to be 3 of you
Wise Man: Don’t remind me….sadly, Balthasar got the boot.
Lamb: You mean he was sacked ?
Wise Man: No, he was trodden on……., and as for Melchior..he was shredded
in the food mixer by the same joyous little human that painted the beard
on Angel Face here.…and what's worse wait till you see the replacement
(blows whistle)
(enter Policeman)
Policeman: Evening all.
Joseph: Oh this is ridiculous….we don’t need a policeman in the nativity
scene.
Policeman: Of course you do…someone has got to bring a little law and
order into this place. For a start it looks like there’s a dangerous animal
on the loose…
Lion: I’m not dangerous……..I’m going to lie down with the lamb (puts
arm around lamb).
Lamb: Oh no you’re not (pushing him away).
Policeman: Is this lion troubling you madam...
Shepherd: It’s alright officer, they’re with me.
Policeman: ... and then I believe there’s a consignment of gold bullion
that needs protecting from thieves.
Joseph: Look..this is meant to be a nativity scene…who's going to steal
the gold around here?
Policeman: (looking at angel) Not wishing to type cast anybody, but
you look mighty strange..
Angel: I’m an Angel…alright.
Policeman: A bearded angel ?….are you sure it’s not a disguise?
Angel: You show me where it says an Angel can’t have a beard…I’m an
asexual being you know.
Policeman: If you say so, sir.
Mary: Stop it you two…Oh Joseph, this isn’t how it’s meant to be, there’s
something just not right.
Joseph: Don’t go upsetting yourself Mary, you’ll wake the baby.
Mary: Of course, how could we all forget (looking into manger – screams)
Ahhhh, The Baby!
Policeman: Whats wrong, is it coming ?
Joseph: You’re too late for that.
Mary: The crib's empty….where’s my baby?
Wise Man: It looks as if the humans have forgotten Jesus.
Mary: No…no…surely not…they can’t have….
Angel: Without Jesus, there’s no point any of us being here.
Shepherd: Look, there’s a human coming this way, carrying something.
Joseph: He’s probably bringing the rest of the nativity characters,
they won’t have forgotten Jesus.
Policeman: Everyone freeze, human approaching (all freeze, lights dim).
(Enter Rudolph followed by Father Christmas…move centre stage in front
of manger, lights return)
Father C: Rudolph, this isn’t our usual place, we always sit on the
fireplace next to the stockings.
Rudolph: Don’t blame me guv, it wasn’t my idea, it was the humans.
Mary: Who are you, and what have you done with my baby?
Father C: I’m Father Christmas.
Lion: And who is this mutant mule?
Rudolph: Do you mind, I’m a reindeer.
Lion: Hmmm…..Venison…I must say I’m delighted to eat…er I mean meet
you.
Joseph: Look, we are nativity characters, you are not part of the nativity.
Mary: There’s no place for you here.
Angel: No, there’s no room at the Inn.
Rudolph: (mocking) Oh, Hark the Herald Angel sings
Father Christmas: It’s not our fault, for some reason the humans decided
we should be the main attraction at Christmas, not you lot…so here we are
Joseph: But it’s not right. Without Jesus, it’s all just an empty celebration.
Shepherd: This is so wrong, it’s meant to start with shepherds watching
their sheep, not shepherds watching a lion.
Angel: And I can hardly say “Behold, I bring tidings of great joy…In
Bethlehem today you will find a fat geezer in a red fur coat and a mutant
mule sitting on a manger”.
Wise Man: (addressing audience) Without Jesus there is no point in
any of us being here.
Mary: (as if dazed, starting to cry) The humans have forgotten Jesus.
Joseph: (trying to comfort her) Look, things might not be as bad as
they seem….let's cheer ourselves up by singing a favourite carol.
(the following 3 verses can be performed as a song, a rap, or a chant
by three of the cast, the rest of the cast repeating the last line of each
verse…a suitable beat or hand clapping can be used as desired)
There’s something missing…but what can it be,
We’ve got the presents and we’ve got the tree,
Got food and drink, spent an awful lot,
But we ain’t got no Jesus, lying in the cot (all repeat last line)
There’s something wrong, it’s just not right,
Watching loads of telly, Party day and night,
But don’t you realise, don’t you ever think,
The Christmas Spirit … is not what you drink. (all repeat last line)
There’s something to learn, can’t you understand,
We’ve all lost the plot, right throughout the land,
It’s good to celebrate, have lots of fun too,
But don’t forget Jesus, He lived and died for you ( point to audience,
repeat last line, hold freeze, and exit).
...........................................
C. Nick Clarke, 2003, all rights reserved.
This script may be used without payment, provided no entrance charge is made for
the performance. In return, the author would like to be told of any performance.
He may be contacted at nickclarke1@btinternet.com