Noah and His Ark (well...sort of)

By Janelle S. Ponte


A funny little skit that shows what could have happened if Noah had listened to his wife instead of to God.



Wrong Narrator: Once upon a time there was a man named Noah who was very close to God. One Day God told Noah to build a Huge Ark because he was going to destroy the land and everything in it with a huge flood. God wanted to spare Noah and his family and all the animals of the earth though....that is why he was told to build the ark.

(enter 'Friends' carrying a massive amount of wood)

Noah: Thanks guys, I really appreciate've been a great help.

Friend 1: So....UH, Noah...what are you using this wood for again? (looks at friends to make sure they are listening)

Noah: I am building an Ark, a great big ship to save my family and all of the animals of the land from the terrible flood that God is bringing to destroy the earth.

Friends: OOOOHHHH (crazy signs....snickers etc...) Okay Noah. (walk away laughing in hysterics)

(enters Noah's wife)

Wife: Noah...Dear...what is all this wood for? There must be about a half of ton of lumber here.

Noah: Well....actually dear, more like 1200 tons of lumber...but who's counting. You see, God told me that the world has become so evil and corrupt that he is going to wipe every living thing off of the face of the earth with an enormous flood. Except for our family and 2 of every animal.

(enter sons)

Son 1: Mom, Dad what's going on here???

Wife: (heavy sarcasim) Well kids, your father here, seems to think that God is going to send a huge flood to destoy the world.

Son 2: okaaaaay, and so what is with this mountain of lumber?

Noah: Well, boys, God (Wife is making crazy hand signals to beg for help as he is speaking) has decided to spare our family and 2 of every living animal. I have been told to build a huge yacht. The size of one and a half football fields. The width of 5 mini-vans and the heighth of 2 PiPi Big Buildings'; stacked on top of each other. (Noah turns to wife.....wife pulls her hands down innocently and smiles at Noah)

Sons: (ad lib) Okay dad....whatever you say prob....see ya later.....(exit)

(Noah and wife sit down.....pause as Noah puts his arm around his wife)

Wife: You know Noah, it's the middle fo summer....not a cloud in the sky....It must be like....35 degrees out here.....(fanning herself)

Noah: well, actually it's about 109 degrees dear, but who's counting.

Wife: Do you really believe this, what the Lord has told you?

(Noah is silent.....and thinking)

Wife: (with a Brilliant Idea) NOAH!! You know....we have all this lumber here could build a very impressive, a mansion even.....a castle!!!

(Noah in deep thought....nodding his head)

Wife: Think about it!! a bathroom for every single person. A 10 bedroom and 10 bathroom house.....NOAH...what do you think?

(Noah still thinking and nodding)

Noah: yeh.......we would even have some left over...and I could build that five camel garage that I have always wanted.

Wife: YES!! Think about it..... 'Noah's Castle'; Walk-in closet....Bay Windows....

(Noah and wife stare dreamily into the sky)

Son: Hey! Mom and Dad....It's starting to rain about a mile back and it's heading this way.....(points over audiences head) see that massive rain cloud?

Noah: delightful....I love these summer rains...let's go put our swimsuits on and enjoy the little sprinkle shall we dear?

Wrong Narrator: And so there you have it.....when the flood came it was survival of the fittest and that is how the human race ended up with only half a brain and.......

Real Narrator: WAIT! That is not what happened.....(calls Noah and Wife from the audience) It is true that God told Noah he was going to destroy the earth and save his family and the animals but it went more like this....

Noah: God has revealed to me that the world has become so corrupt and evil that it grieves him greatly. He is going to send a flood to destroy every living thing. But with this wood I am to build an ark to save our family and 2 of every living animal.

Wife: Wow...Noah, this sounds so far fetched, but, if the Lord has commanded must obey.

Noah: yes, dear and he has promised me that he will I know it can be done.

Real Narrator: And so......when God has told you to do something that sounds crazy, like start a Bible study, or start attending youth group, or read your Bible...or....go to church......don't give into peer pressures around you. Do what the Lord is telling you to do so the heavy floods of sin and corruption won't drown you.


© Copyright Janelle S. Ponte, all rights reserved

This script may be performed free of charge, on the understanding no entrance fee is charged. In return, the author would appreciate being notified when it is performed. She may be contacted at