Good to the Last Drop

By Steve Gillham


A rather black humour look at the story of Ananias and Sapphira.


Acts 5:1-11


Henry and Amy  (Husband & wife)
2 other adults


(Setting: Coffee House -  Table, 2 chairs and a counter)

Suzie:  Welcome to Muck-Luks Coffee, home of the original caffeine experience.  What can I get for you?

Frank:  Give me a sumatra  de-caf mocha low-fat double macadamia latte frapaccino.

S: Do you want hand polished or air tumbled beans?

F: The hand polished, light roasted, pressure treated, fast cooled & kosher blessed beans.

S: Oh, that would be a #2.

F: Whatever. (Frank heads towards a seat when Henry recognizes him)

Henry:  Frank?   Well it’s Frank Cashman, How are you guy?

F:  Great…uh…fine…yeah everything’s just……good.

H:  I heard you sold your mom’s house about 6 months ago?

F: Who told you that?

H:  Sally, she works out of the same real estate office as your broker.

F: Well, yeah it sold, but way under market.

H:  That surprises me in this market, I’d have thought you’d make a killing on that house…and with the view, the location, the..

F:  (Interrupts) Okay, I’m very well aware of the house.  I used to live there you know, and what makes you so all curious about that house?

H: Well, I’ve been chair-person of the endowment committee since January of this year and Sarah your mom had designated that the proceeds of the house go into the trust fund. I’m just wondering how much longer the committee needs to wait?

F: It’s not as easy as that.   I’ve had some major expenses in closing all her affairs, and… there’s been some unexpected expenses…and…I really need a rest.

H:  That a new Rolex Frank?

F:  No, it’s used. I mean, I just started wearing it and it was given to me….the money!  Are you sure I didn’t….I thought I sent a check…I was going to…(gasp, grab chest and fall down-you are dead!).

Suzie:   Oh dear, maybe he was alergic to the macadamias!

H:  (Calmly)  No I don’t think it was the coffee, it’s more likely that Frank’s cold heart just froze.   There never was much that seemed very likeable about Frank.

S: That’s not nice!  I was always told you only say good things about people that are dead.

H:   Oh, I’m sorry, he’s dead.  Good!

(Suzie covers Frank with sheet & puts out "Caution" sign) (Enter Franks wife Amy looking around for him)

H: Amy, please sit down, we need to talk.

A:  Oh, hi Henry.  How are you?

H: More important, how are you?

A:  I just never seem to get enough rest and my back is just killing me, why last week I went to the doctor to have him check my ear and he said that if I didn’t slow down I’d have a coronary, but you know doctors, they’ll say just about anything if you…..(Henry interrupts)

H: Whoa, Amy.  Whoa.  Please sit down.

A: (Gasp) Thanks, things have gotten so complicated since Frank’s Mother passed away.  We never seem to have a moment’s peace.    Ohh what I wouldn’t give for a long long rest.

H:  How’s your heart today?

A:  Fine….(she turns and looks at the sheet in a perturbed way)…yeah fine….say have you seen Frank in here?   I was supposed to meet him here for coffee.  ( looking back again at the body)  He’s usually early (uncomfortable laugh).

H:  As a matter of fact I did see Frank, and since I’m the chair of the endowment committee we were talking about the dispersion of the funds from Sarah’s house. (Sarah’s mouth drops open) He was a little unclear about the sale price and transfer of funds to the trust.   Maybe you could answer my questions.

A:  Questions?   Oh my no, uhm, (Amy begins to mumble a little) I yust ment to na nentist and my mouff ish noing num.    I’m  sharry I can’t tawk now.

H:  I completely understand Amy,  I’ll check with the Wilsons, remember they purchased the house.  And did you know they just joined our church?

A:  (Amy gasps lowers herself to the floor in weakness.  As she goes down she pulls Frank’s sheet off and lets out a scream and dies at the site of dearly departed Frank)

H: ( Henry goes calmly back to his coffee as Suzie comes over to observe)

Suzie:   Don’t you blame me.  She hasn’t even ordered yet.

Henry:    I’m sure it wasn’t the coffee dear.   Well, time to go, It seems I’ve made it to the last couple of drops!


Copyright Steve Gillham, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for entry. In return, the author would like to be informed of any performance. He may be contacted at