LENNY LOADED, THE KIWIFRUIT FARMER

By Chris Wyatt

A light-hearted retelling of the Parable of the Tenants (Luke 21:33-41). The fruit type and the place names can be changed to suit where it is performed.

Characters:

Narrators A & B		Businessman
Lenny Loaded			Business #2
Workers 1 – 4			The Son

		Dialogue							Actions
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

A.	What’s brown, green and hairy and goes up and down?

B.	Huh? I don’t know. What is brown, green and hairy and goes up and down?

A.	A kiwifruit in a lift.

B.        What’s that got to do with this next sketch?

A.	      What sketch?

B.	The one that’s starting…NOW!

A.	(dramatically) Once upon a time, there was a wealthy 	kiwifruit farmer…

B .	a very wealthy kiwifruit farmer…

A.	…called Lenny Loaded.

B.	      He owned the biggest, richest, ripest, and sunniest 	kiwifruit orchard in the whole of the …

A.	kiwifruit…

B.	county.

A.	His business became so successful that he began to open 	up vast, untapped overseas markets.

B.	They still had to use the village well, though.

A.	Village well?

B.	Untapped markets, silly.
Narrators sit on stools or stand either side of stage.

Loaded enters & proudly surveys his vast orchard.

Loaded exits.

A.	One day, new opportunities knocked on his door.

B.	Knock, knock.

A.	Come in.

B.	(in a funny voice) Hullo, I’m a new opportunity.

A.	Oh goody!

B.	This new opportunity offered exciting new possibilities 	in Japan.

A.	Ha, so.

B.	So Lenny sold his Holden and bought a Toyota. 

A.	But before he drove it to the airport, he called his orchard 	workers together.

B.	Together? That’s a silly name.

A.	 No – he called them…together. (He mimes)

B.	Oh.

Loaded: I’m going over to Japan to develop exciting new 	potential markets.

Workers: (without enthusiasm) Wow.

Loaded: So I want you to look after the orchard while I am gone.

Workers: (enthusiastically) WOW!!

Loaded: If there are any problems, just contact my son and his 	business associates in Queen Street, Auckland.

Workers: (unsure) Uh-huh.

Loaded: Bye now.

Workers: (brightening up) Bye-ee.

B.	Once Lenny Loaded had gone, the workers 	enthusiastically took up the challenge of running…

A.	the biggest…

B.	richest…

Loaded enters followed by the 4 workers.

He gathers them together.

Turns to go, then stops.

He leaves.

They wave enthusiastically.

The workers mime planting, watering, harvesting, etc.

A.	ripest…

B.	and sunniest…

A. 	kiwifruit orchard…

A&B	in all of the kiwifruit county.

A.	But it wasn’t long before this newly-gained 	responsibility went to their heads.

Worker 1: We can run this place by ourselves,

B.	…said one.

Worker 2: We don’t need Lenny,

A.	…said another.

Worker 3: Let’s make a few changes,

B.	…a third suggested.

Worker 4: We’ll diversify – let’s grow pumpkins and walnuts as 	well.

A.	So they dreamed and schemed, and made big changes.

B.	After a few months, Lenny Loaded rang his son and 	suggested that one of his  …

Loaded & B: (together) …business partners call into the 	orchard…

Loaded: … just to see how the guys are getting on, you 	understand. 

Son: 	Okay, Dad. No sooner said than done.

A. 	So, up came the Queen Street businessman,

B. 	…no sooner said than done,

A.	all dressed up in his ponsy pin-striped Queen Street 
	Suit.

Businessman: Hi, guys…

A.	…he said cheerfully.

Workers: Mumble, mumble, mumble

The workers continue working, but call out to each other.

One by one they stop miming and gather together centre stage.

Mime heated discussion together – Freeze.

Lenny & son enter downstage – stay opposite sides – mime telephone conversation. 

Hang up phones .Lenny exits.

Son beckons on businessman, who drives away, around stage & up to gathered workers, who continue talking.

B.	The workers grumbled.

Businessman: Oo, ah,  ee.

A.	…grunted the businessman,

B.	as the workers picked him up and carried back to his car.

Businessman: Owww!!

A.	…cried the businessman,

B.	…as they taught him a lesson he would never forget.

Businessman: Brrmmm!

A.	…went the businessman’s car as he sped back to Queen 	Street to tell the son what had happened.

B.	None too pleased, the son sent several more business 	partners, 

A.	…but they never returned.

B.	So the son phoned his dad.

Son:	Hullo, Dad.

Loaded: Hullo, son.

Son:	What should I do?

Loaded: You’d better go to see what’s going on yourself. Surely 	they will give you a good welcome. After all, you are my 	only son.

Son:	Okay, Dad. Thanks, Dad. Goodbye, Dad.

Loaded: Bye, son.

A. 	But when the son arrived, they mumbled even more 	loudly.

Workers: Mumble, mumble, mumble loudly!

B.	Their hearts became filled with evil intent.

Workers: Mean, mean, scheme, scheme.

The workers pick up Businessman, 

and carry him downstage.

They proceed to beat & kick him.

Businessman mimes driving back to Auckland.

Businessman #2 enters upstage. He is attacked by the workers, who leave him dead at the back of the stage.

Loaded & Son enter opposite sides, downstage, & mime telephones.

During this conversation, the Workers mime operating the orchard.

Loaded exits.

Son mimes driving to orchard. 

Workers gather.

A.	They saw the opportunity to make the orchard their own.

B.	So they killed him.

Son:	(looks horrified at B.) They what?!

B. 	They killed him.

A.	Just like that.

Son:	Oh, father. If it is possible, take this cup from me, But 	not my will be done, but yours. (He dies.)

B.	Yep – they killed him.

A.	And thought that that was that.

Workers: That is that.

B.	But when Lenny Loaded never heard back from his son, 	he cut short his Japanese visit and returned to see what 	was happening.

A..	Oh boy, I bet there was big trouble then.

B.	Do you know what he did to those workers?

A..	I’d hate to think.

B.	Guess.

A	How about (he reads from a Bible) “He destroyed those 	wicked men miserably and hired other workers who 	would 	render to him the fruits in their season”?

B.	Hey! Where’d you get that from?

A..	(holds up Bible) Here.

B.	You mean – this story’s in the Bible?	

A.	Yes. Lenny Loaded is God, his son is Jesus and the 	orchard is the world. 

B.	What – what about the workers?

Workers: (various) Yeah. What about us? What happens to us?

Workers approach Son menacingly. They set upon him and beat him to death.

Workers congratulate each other.

Lenny enters and surveys the scene. Workers cower back; some try to hide the body.

Each character steps forward as he is named and adopts a pose.

A.	Ah – the workers. They represent any one out there (sweeps arm around towards audience) who has rejected Jesus as the Son of God.

B.	You mean…?

A.	(dramatically) Yes.

B.	That - ?

A.	Yes – that it doesn’t pay to buy a kiwifruit orchard.

B.	No. That’s not what I’m getting at.

A.	Oh? Then what?

B.	All those who refuse to accept Jesus as God’s Son will 	be destroyed will be destroyed at the day of judgement.

A	 Uh – oh.

                        

                                                                     END

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© Chris Wyatt, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: wyatts@paradise.net.nz

The Workers get into a line, place hand on shoulder in front, and exit humming “The Death March”.