Cheap Grace

by Glenn A. Hascall


Roy calls to order a supply of grace and is bombarded by the company with information about how he could improve his life with other products. In the end he's simply frustrated because he comes to understand that the company is not the real source for amazing grace.


TV announcer


TV ANNOUNCER: That's right call now and get a year's supply of grace for the amazing low price of  $19.95.
ROY: Hum
TV ANNOUNCER: Call within the next ten minutes and we'll double that grace for the same amazing low price of just $19.95.
ROY: Wow.
TV ANNOUNCER: Be one of the first 10 calls and we'll provide this great offer with no shipping or handling charges.
(ROY picks up the phone)
TV ANNOUNCER: Have your credit card ready and call 1-800-CHEAP-GRACE.
ROY: I think I'll just do that, I could use a little grace in my life.
(Dials the phone and listens)
PHONE RECORDING: Hello, thank you for calling Cheap Grace, all operators are assisting other customers, however your call is very important, please stay on the line and a friendly account representative will be with you shortly.
(Roy continues to hold the line as music fills his ears).
PHONE RECORDING: Thank you for holding. It is customers like you that make our job so rewarding. Please stay on the line. Our operators are working with other customers and will be taking the same care and attention to detail when filling your order. Thank you for calling Cheap Grace.
STACY:  (Less than enthusiastic) Hello, my name Stacy. Thank you for calling Cheap Grace, how many years of our product will you be needing today.
ROY: Well, I guess I wanted the special that was just announced on TV.
STACY: Which one would that be, sir?
ROY: The one that offered Grace for $19.95 for a year's supply with a bonus year and free shipping.
STACY: (Riffling through some papers) Oh, yea. Which card will you be using today?
ROY: Discovering the Master's Express Visa.
STACY: Your card number.
ROY: 5555 5555 5555 5555
STACY: All fives?
ROY: Yes.
STACY: How convenient, sir. Now as a preferred customer I am authorized to offer you a free trial of Mercy. This trial is available to you because of your standing as a valued customer and will be sent in your Grace packet.
Your credit card will be charged $5.95 per month after the initial free trial.
ROY: Well, I hadn't really thought about any additional purchases. I think the Grace will be enough for today.
STACY: Perhaps I didn't explain myself well enough. The bonus Mercy won't cost you a dime.
ROY: For the first month. (A statement - not a question)
STACY: Uh, Yes that's right.
ROY: I think I'll pass for now. Thank you.
STACY: Roy, because you were one of the first uh, (papers rustling) ten callers. I have been authorized to provide a three-month free trial of Kindness and as a special gift, a one-month supply of Joy.
ROY: It's free?
STACY: Well, after the trial period your card will be charged $24.99 per month for these two special items, but you can cancel at any time.
ROY: I think I'll have to pass on that one too. My budget's a little tight right now.
STACY: But that's the beauty Roy, you won't have to pay anything for at least a month and then we simply bill your credit card. What could be easier?
ROY: I still think I'll pass. Thank you for your help.
STACY: Before you go, our president has just informed me that you are eligible for a six-month supply of love.
ROY: Free love?
STACY: Well, no, not exactly. Remember there is nothing free in life, Roy. (self-conscious giggle). But this offer does provide the benefit of love for a full half year and you can cancel at anytime by calling the toll free number which is located in the small print found at the bottom of the sixth page of your invoice. I will also be able to send valuable coupons good on a number of other products including goodness and self-control.
ROY: (Getting upset) I could use some self-control right now, but I think I'll pass.
STACY: Don't you want love, Roy?
ROY: Well, yes I do. But the only reason I called was because I thought the offer of grace for a couple of years sounded like a good idea, now I'm beginning to wonder.
STACY: You know Roy, I think you might benefit from a free trial of patience...
(Optional ending)
NARRATOR: There is no such thing as free or cheap grace. You can't buy it -
it's not for sale.

There is only One who has the ability to offer grace, mercy, joy, love,
patience, kindness, goodness, self-control and so much more. What is even
better is that these things are offered to each of us without costing us
anything - we simply have to accept the gift.

Don't misunderstand, these gifts are very costly, but the manufacturer of
these spiritual products paid that price some time ago.

His Son has been given the authority to make them available to anyone who
asks. No credit cards or phone calls are necessary. Just believe in the
ability of the Son to give these gifts, acknowledging His personal sacrifice
in making them available to you and the gift is yours.

Jesus Christ is willing and able to give you a life filled with purpose and
meaning. He wants you to be content in every circumstance you encounter and
the gifts He offers without cost can have a profound and positive effect on
your life.

There is no trial period and no provision for cancellation. What's more, you
even get the added benefit of eternal life.

So, call on Him now - He is personally standing by to answer your call.

Copyright 2000 by Glenn A. Hascall and CMI Publishing. Please let him know if you use this script. Contact him at glenn.hascall<a>